While the Adults are away
by todd fan
Summary: COMPLETE! The thrid in the group torture fics. This is what happened to the mansion during 'Teacher Training', read them side by side and be amazed!
1. A house of their Own

While the adults are away  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "Simpson, Homer Simpson, the greatest guy in history. From the, town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree".  
  
****  
  
And here it is, the tie-in fic to Teacher Training. If any of you haven't read Teacher Training, you don't reeeaaaly need to read it, but there may be a few subtle jokes in here that you'll only get if you read it's predacessor. You all wanted to know what happened to the teens while i sent the adults packing, well, here's your answer!  
  
****  
  
Chapter 1 - A house to their own  
  
****  
  
"Goodbye, sir, don't worry, Gambit'll make sure dat de house stays standing!".  
  
Gambit grinned happily as the X-Van drove off out of the grounds of the Xavier institute.  
  
"I'm gonna see what burns good in there!", said Pyro, giving a happy giggle and running in.  
  
"John, you promised us there would be no burnink!", shouted Piotr, running in after his teammate.  
  
"Oui, Remy can get used to dis", said Gambit, smirking as he walked through the front door of the mansion..and right into Scott.  
  
"I don't know why you've been put in charge", he said, "i'm only one year younger than you, AND i'm a better leader!".  
  
"And de last time de Professor left you in charge, dere was a party, non?", said Gambit, his grin widening.  
  
"That wasn't my fault!!!", protested Scott, "the others..they trricked me..i...i...".  
  
"Tut tut tut", said Gambit, shaking his head, "sound like someone let dere leadership skills slip. If i was de Professor, i'd take a while to trust you again too".  
  
"But...but...", stammered Scott, "i AM a good leader!".  
  
Remy nodded, as if he was humouring him and patted Scott on the shoulder.  
  
"Gambit sure dat you are", he said, "but you sit back and let Remy handle dis one, mmm, Mon Ami?".  
  
Scott, shifted his shoulder from under Remy's hand and gave him a death glare, before smirking evily.  
  
"Oh, you want to take charge? Then be my guest", he said, holding out a hand to the Cajun, "go ahead, and can i wish you the best of luck?"  
  
Remy smiled, ahhhh now that was more like it. He took Scott's hand and shook it.  
  
"Thank you, Mon Ami", he said, "Remy sure he can do a great job".  
  
"Sure you can", said Scott, before walking off, adding under his breath, "sucker".  
  
Unfortunately for Remy, he didn't catch the last comment, and smiled to himself as he entered the mansion, yeah, this would be a breeze.  
  
****  
  
"Gambit would like to go home now".  
  
Remy was resting his head on the kitchen table, as Jean and Amara warred over ownership of a small blue top.  
  
"Had enough yet, 'boss'?", smirked Scott, from where he was sitting on a chair, his legs resting on the table-top.  
  
"You know, it's people like you who are filling Hell", said Gambit.  
  
"Oh come ON, it's so obviously mine!", said Amara, tugging at one side of the top, "i wore it two weeks ago!".  
  
"Which is when it went missing from MY wardrobe!", snapped Jean, tugging her own end.  
  
"Oh, you LIE!", said Amara.  
  
"Can't you chere's just...share de top?", tried Gambit.  
  
Both girls looked at him like he was a crazy person.  
  
"Why should i share my own top?", said Jean.  
  
"Because it's isn't yours, you...top thief!!!", shot back Amara.  
  
"Take that back!".  
  
"NEVER!".  
  
Gambit gave a frustrated growl, getting up and grabbing the top in one hand. The top suddenly glowed with kenetic energy, before making a 'poofing' sound and disintergating.  
  
"Dere, problem solved", said Gambit, dusting his hands.  
  
Jean and Amara watched him, opened mouthed and wide-eyed.  
  
"I can't believe he just did that!", said Amara.  
  
"Yeah, you may be cute, but that was just..just....MEAN!", put in Jean.  
  
"That's men for you", said Amara, "they have no consideration for other peoples things".  
  
"Wait....", said Scott, "Jean...you think Gambit's cute?".  
  
"Men are self centred pigs", agreed Jean, ignoring Scott completely, "come on Amara, lets go eat ice cream!".  
  
"Gladly!", said Amara.  
  
Both girls linked arms, as if the fight had never happened, harrumped and stormed out of the kitchen. Gambit blinked, a look of utter confusion on his face.  
  
"What just then happened?", he asked.  
  
"You got on the bad side of two of the female population of the Xavier Insitute", said Scott with a nod, "they'll be back to normal soon enough, just avoid them..and the others..women talk".  
  
"Gambit knows dat", said Gambit, "Gambit knows more about women now dan you'll ever learn, Preppy boy".  
  
Scott took an intake of breath, gathering himself together, then just waved a hand at Gambit.  
  
"Yeah, whatever".  
  
*****  
  
Meanwhile, in another part of the mansion, everyones worst fear had been realised. Pyro had found the kitchen. He was currently sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the oven, giggling manically. Around him danced women made of fire.  
  
"Dance, dance, dance!", chanted Pyro, "dance my lovelies, dance for daddy!".  
  
Kitty paused as she entered the kitchen, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Please tell me you're not supposed to be looking after us".  
  
Pyro turned around and gave her a manical grin.  
  
"Course i am Sheila!", he said, "don't worry, John'll look after you"  
  
"The name's Kitty, not 'Sheila'", said Kitty, "and that thought terrifies me beyond all rational levels of fear. I don't think you could look after a goldfish".  
  
"Hey, it wasn't MY fault Goldie got cooked!", said Pyro, "i didn't know how warm i had made the water! I didn't MEAN to do it!!!".  
  
He gave a small sniffle.  
  
"I miss Goldie", he said, "maybe he's watching us all from goldfish heaven".  
  
Kitty digested this imformation before making the wise move of backing slowly out of the kitchen, hearing the manical giggles start up within seconds..okay, so he was a quick griever. Bobby walked past her, heading in the direction of the kitchen.  
  
"I really wouldn't go in there if i was you", said Kitty.  
  
"Oh please", said Bobby, "i'm a super hero, i'm not afraid of anything".  
  
Kitty sighed and watched as he walked in.  
  
"Ooooooohhhh ice-boy!", came Pyro's voice, "can i melt you?".  
  
"Three, two one", said Kitty under her breath.  
  
The second she got to one, Bobby ran out of the kitchen, screaming for mercy, his shirt on fire, Pyro skipping out moments later.  
  
"You know what you should do?", he said, as he watched Bobby run around in panicked circles, "stop, drop and roll. Whenether I'M on fire, thats what i do".  
  
Bobby made little squeaking sounds before dropping to the ground and rolling around, the fire not going out. Pyro giggled as he kept the flame alive.  
  
"PHYSCE!", he said, as if this was an inocent practical joke, ignoring the fact that Bobby's clothes were starting to melt into his skin.  
  
Bobby gave Kitty a desperate look before running out of the back door and launching himself into the pool, steam rising up from it along with a contented sigh. Pyro leaned on the door-frame and scowled at the pool.  
  
"Water", he said distastefully, "so, we meet again my deadly foe".  
  
With that, he shrugged and walked off into the mansion. Kitty rolled her eyes and walked over to the pool edge to glance over the side at Bobby.  
  
"Iceman, you okay?".  
  
"...Medic",came a very small voice from in the water.  
  
*****  
  
"Do it again, do it again!!!!".  
  
Piotr sighed, glancing down at the excited Jamie, children were so easy to entertain.  
  
"Okay, but just this once more", he said.  
  
He reached out and picked up the entire gazeebo in the garden, with one hand. He twirled it around a little then put it back down again.  
  
"WOW!", said Jamie, "that is so AWESOME!!!".  
  
Piotr chuckled, powering back down and patting Jamie on the head before heading back inside, raising an eyebrow as a slightly chared...errr...thing crawled out of the pool. It could have been human...once. Oh well. He carried on, finally enetering the common room and sitting down to close his eyes. This wasn't SUCH a hard job. Look after a bunch of teenagers. Not exactly difficult, was it?  
  
"Hey, big metal guy!".  
  
Piotr sighed before turning around to face Tabby.  
  
"Piotr", he said.  
  
"Ok then, Peety", said Tabby, ignoring Piotr as he twitched slightly at this nickname, "hey wanna help me solve out a bet with my good friend Ray over here?".  
  
Ray poked his head around the door and gave Piotr a wave. Piotr raised an eyebrow...something wasn't right here.....  
  
"What is it you need me to be doink?", he asked.  
  
Tabby grinned and tried to fling her arm over his shoulder, not suceeding on that on, she settled for patting him on the back.  
  
"Glad you asked!", she said, "Ray thinks that if you were to jump into the path of a speeding train, then it would kill you, but i think that....".  
  
"I think i am knowink when you are headink with this", Piotr cut her off, "the Acolytes already made me do that. The train was....a mess".  
  
"Oh", said Tabby, then pulled a face at Ray, "hah, score one for me!!!".  
  
Piotr blinked as the pair left the room, starting to argue about whether or not Pyro could live if he were pushed into a kiln. Piotr knew the answer to that one too. The Acolytes had visited an old ironworks, and Pyro had fallen into the main oven. He had sat in the middle for a while, the fire surrounding him as he giggled manically. That was until Magneto hauled him out of there. So THAT was why Pyro's flamethrowers had so much metal in them, so he could be dragged out of enormous ovens. Speaking of Pyro....Piotr blinked as he started to hear manical laughter coming from inside Xavier's study. That couldn't be a good thing. He gave a heavy sigh and got up, wandering off in the direction of his teammates laughter.  
  
****  
  
Oh yeah, such fun is this! I always end up torturing Bobby, i can't help it, he asks for it, smarmy sod. Anyway, do review! Until next time... 


	2. Y A M S

While the adults are away  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "You won't always have Jumbo around to protect you, and when that day comes, I suggest you watch your back. 'Cause I'll be chewing on it".  
  
****  
  
Hazah to my reviewers, how i love thee all. Oh dear, the madness (and Bobby torture) gets worse.  
  
Millenium Mutant - Sure feel free to use it, the more times Bobby is one fire the better, i always say. Tee hee.  
  
Asteria - I forgot to mention this in Teacher Training because my brain died. Nope, Forge's fear of rabbits is not Cannon, my own evil twisted mind made it up (just like Wanda and her Turkeys, man, i gotta put those two in a petting zoo sometime, whaohahahaha). Warren's love of porn was also spawned from my mind, partly due to watching one two many Friends episodes (that show has given me more evil ideas than i'd like to count). As for Forge's arm, i have no clue, mmmm i must brood on that one...  
  
***  
  
Chapter 2 - Y. A . M . S  
  
****  
  
By the time Piotr had got to the door of the study, Remy was already standing by it, his ear pressed against the door.  
  
"I hear manical laughter", said Remy, then jumped away from the door, "hot, hot hot!!!".  
  
"Oh dear God, he's BURNING stuff!!!", said Scott, running over, "oh man, the Professor is goning to KILL.....you...oh well".  
  
"Shut up, Stick-Butt", said Remy, then looked at Piotr, "we'd better break in before he burns de entire room".  
  
Piotr sighed, tranforming into his metal form and giving the door a gentle shove. The door fell off it's hinges and into the room, revealing John, who had made a fire-Xavier from the open fireplace in the study. The fire- Xavier was sitting in Xavier's favorite armchair. Pyro smiled at his teammates slowly.  
  
"Hello", he said, his features flickering with the light of the flame, "i'm having fun...want to join me?".  
  
"OH NO, THE PROFESSOR'S CHAIR!!!".  
  
It was then that Scott had chosen to muscle his way into the room. In a rather foolish attmept to stop the carnage, he tackled Pyro to the ground. This, of course, made Pyro loose control of his fire-Professor and it promtly began to burn the chair into nothingness.....and then it began to spread.  
  
"Mon deiu!", said Remy, "Gambit want a pay-rise after dis!".  
  
Thinking about the fire safety class Magneto had forced all his Acolytes to take (ironically the very day Pyro joined the team), Remy grabbed a rug from the floor and used it to smother the flames out....it didn't work. The rug went up in flames, causing Remy to squeal and drop it on the ground. He then proceeded to jump up and down on the once-a-rug until the flames were out.  
  
"For de love of all things holy, HELP!", squealed Gambit, only to get drenched by a jet of water.  
  
He picked himself up off the floor to see Rogue tackling the fire with a hosepipe.  
  
"Whatever made the Professor think we were safe with YOU people is beyond me", she said moodily, turning off the hose as soon as the fire was out, "we'd be safer with a Sentinel".  
  
"Awwwww", said Pyro sadly, "all my fire is out".  
  
"No more fire for you", said Piotr, picking Pyro up easily and slinging him over his shoulder, "is there anywhere i can be putting him where he won't find fire?".  
  
Rogue pondered this for a long while.  
  
"A'h know just the place".  
  
****  
  
Bobby had finally tended to his wounds and he did feel a little better. One of the advantages to being able to freeze yourself meant that burn wounds were quickly relived. He had gone for a walk outside when he saw the cause of all of his distress floating in a metal bucket in the middle of the pool. On closer inspection, it seemed Pyro was chained to the inside of the bucket, making escape seem impossible. Bobby grinned, preparing to encase Pyro in a block of ice when a football clonked him on the back of the head.  
  
"HEY!".  
  
He spun around to see five Jamies, each one looked panicked, before four of the Jamie's pointed at the fifth.  
  
"He did it", they said in unison.  
  
"Traitors", muttered Jamie, absorbing his multiples back into himself, "errr..sorry Bobby, ball got away from me and...oh my God, you have a bald patch!!".  
  
Bobby blinked.  
  
"What?!!!", he said, panicked, "where, where?!!!".  
  
He started to manically smoothe his hands through his precious hair....until he found IT. He gave a small whimper, slumping to the ground.  
  
"Oh no", he said, "no no no no no".  
  
Jamie giggled at this, he had tried to keep himself from laughing, he really had, but he was 12, and 12 years olds found the suffering of others absolutely hilarious.  
  
"It's not funny, Jamie", said Bobby flatly.  
  
"Yeah it is", said Jamie inbetween giggles, "you'll need a toupe!!!".  
  
That did it. Within seconds, Jamie found himself frozen to the basketball hoop's pole. Bobby gave him a deadly glare before stalking off.  
  
"Hey, let me out!!", scealed Jamie, trying to struggle against the ice, "i'm telling!!!".  
  
Pyro had been watching this from his tin bucket.  
  
"You know, if i had some fire...i could get you out", he said.  
  
"No!", said Jamie, "Mr Gambit made us promise not to give you any open flames!".  
  
Pyro sighed sadly, putting on a perfect inocent face.  
  
"But i wouldn't burn anyone", he said softly, "i'm just a poor, misunderstood teenager. The last time was an accident. If One Eye hadn't tackled me, i would have been able to put it out".  
  
Jamie pondered on this.  
  
"Well....i guess it really wasn't your fault", he said, "people always blame me for stuff too, just 'cause i'm the youngest".  
  
"I'm the youngest too!", said Pyro, "of the Acolytes anyway. They only ever pick on us youngest members because we're the easiest to pick on".  
  
"Yeah", said Jamie, "you know what, we should start a club!".  
  
"That's a GREAT idea!", said Pyro excitedly, "if only we could get free.....".  
  
****  
  
Kurt smiled happily as he danced through a field of dasies. It was a beautifull summers day and a rainbow danced across the sky as the sun shone brightly. There were butterflies all around, and the flowers of the field smelled heavenly sweet. Everything got oh so much more better when Amanda appeared, dressed in a beautifull bridal dress. She skipped through the flowers up to Kurt and gave him a kiss, then smiled at him.  
  
"I love you, Amanda", said Kurt.  
  
"BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ", said Amanda.  
  
"Huh?",said Kurt, as the buzzing sound continuted, making him jar awake out of his doze.  
  
He opened his eyes to see a electric razor within inches of his face.  
  
"AGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!".  
  
Kurt fell off his bed, backpedaling to the wall. He glanced up to see Bobby holding the razor in question.  
  
"Vas....vhy?!!!", squeaked Kurt, wide-eyed, "vhy the razor by me...VHY?!!".  
  
"Chill out Kurt", said Bobby, "i only want a little bit of hair. You wont even notice it's gone".  
  
He moved towards the blue elf again, but Kurt, now fully awake, was too fast for him, and climbed up the wall, where he watched Bobby from the ceiling.  
  
"Yes i vill!", he said, "vhy do you vant MY fur?. Didn't ve already agree that no one vould buy a blue fur coat?".  
  
"I don't want it for a coat!", said Bobby, lowering his voice, "i need it to...patch up a problem".  
  
"Oh, you mean that biiiiiiig bald patch on the top of your head?", said Kurt, chuckling from where he looked down at Bobby.  
  
"Hey, quit it!!", said Bobby, covering the ptch with his hands, "so...think you could lend some fur?".  
  
Kurt pondered this.  
  
"Bobby.....your hair is brown"., he said, "my hair is blue, vell, indigo, really, but ze point is..i think people vill notice if you have a blue patch. In fact, eets probably MORE noticable than the bald patch".  
  
"So?", said Bobby, "i'll dye it brown..or..or i'll say it's blue highlights, a new fashion trend. Oh come on, be a pal".  
  
Kurt thought some more.  
  
"Nein".  
  
Bobby gave a frustrated growl.  
  
"I thought you were the nice one!", he said, come on, plllleeeaaase?".  
  
"Nien", said Kurt again, "vhat do i do vith MY missing fur, mmmm?".  
  
"I thought about that", said Bobby, "i'll take it from places no one will think to look".  
  
Kurt's eyes almost popped out of his head.  
  
"No! Not there!", said Bobby, starting up the razor, "look, i'm taking that hair, and there's no way you can stop me".  
  
*BAMF*  
  
"......Except like that".  
  
Bobby gave a frustrated growl, tossing the still working razor out of Kurt's window, listening to it as it hit the ground outside, and blinked as smoke started to rise from it.  
  
"Hey, fire!", came Pyro's happy voice from below.  
  
****  
  
Sam had been carrying out the sacred duty of feeding Ororo's plants. A commitment that Storm had placed on him and him alone. It kinda made him feel special, important, yeah, he was Sam, the guy who was looking ater Ororo's pride and joy. It was as if he had been asked to babysit.  
  
*BAMF*  
  
"Arrghhhhhhhhh!!!".  
  
Sam fell backwards, narrowly avoiding toppling into the most important plant of all. He gave it a worried glance before letting out a sigh of relief.  
  
"Sorry Sam", said Kurt, waving away the cloud of brimstone he had left, "Bobby...he's gone nuts. Vith the razor, and the toupe...eets all very very messy".  
  
"Err...okay", said Sam, blinking, "a'h don't think a'h want to know this story somehow".  
  
"Vatering the plants, huh?", said Kurt, reaching out to poke a plant, only to have Sam swat his hand away.  
  
"Yeah, and if anythin' happens to them, Storm'll have ma'h hide", he said, "especially THAT one".  
  
He pointed to a large very odd looking plant amongst all the others. Kurt blinked at it a few times before recognition dawned on his face.  
  
"It's Audrey II!!!", he squealed, diving behind a plant pot, "VE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!".  
  
Sam cocked his head to the side in confusion.  
  
"Kurt...it's just a plant".  
  
"Nein!!", said Kurt, "that eets the plant that EATS people! Ve have to destroy eet before it takes any lives!".  
  
Sam pondered on this for a minute. He promptly grabbed Kurt by his tail and dragged him out of the attic, pushing him through the door and slaming the door behind him.  
  
"Oh no!", shouted Kurt at the closed door, "the plant has already begun to manipulate you into doing eets bidding. You'll be looking for victims for eet in no time!!!".  
  
*BAMF*  
  
Kurt 'ported out of there as quick as he could. He needed to make his room secure, he needed to be safe from the plant invasion. No plants were gonna eat him, no way, no how.  
  
****  
  
"You want me to join what-now?".  
  
Kitty blinked at Jamie and Pyro as they stood proudly in her room. They had escaped when the razor had burst into flame, allowing Pyro to melt Jamie free and Jamie to create a bridge of multiples to pull Pyro to safety. One melted chain later and they were free. They had spent a few hours planning together, and had come up with the best idea. Ever.  
  
"YAMS", said Jamie proudly, pointing to a bage on his chest with 'Y. A. M. S' written on it in felt marker.  
  
Kitty blinked.  
  
"You want me to join a club to do with sweet potatos?", she asked.  
  
"No", said Pyro, rolling his eyes, "it stands for 'Youngest Abused Members Society'. It's for those of use who are sick with being abused as the youngest members of our respective teams. A group where we can DO something about it!".  
  
"And as the youngest member of the main X-Men team, we would like to offer you an invitation to this very exculsive club", added Jamie.  
  
Kitty blinked again, raising an eyebrow as Pyro and Jamie grinned at her.  
  
"I....think i'll pass".  
  
Both boys' faces fell.  
  
"Oh but we haven't told you about the benifits yet!", said Pyro, "as a privileged member of YAMS, you will get a license to humiliate any older member and they can't do ANYTHING about it. We'll make it legal, go to court and everything!".  
  
"You. Are. Insane", said Kitty pointedly, "now get out of my way, i'm looking for my little blue top. Jean borrowed it...or was it Amara?. I don't know, but i want it back!".  
  
"Fine, the invitation is open for two more days, then it expires", said Jamie.  
  
"Think about it", said Pyro, winking  
  
With that, both left Kitty to her fruitless top-search.  
  
*****  
  
Another chapter done. I warned you it was going to get more insane. And, wow, it DID!. In case you haven't read my parody 'Little Shop of Mutants' then you wont get the in-joke. Kurt played Seymour in it, yup....that doesn't sound like a plug..does it?...neh.Please do review, until next time... 


	3. Living in a material world

While the Adults are Away  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "Don't get mad, get everything"  
  
*****  
  
Whoot so many reviews, you like this, you really like this!  
  
Mrs. Jean Grey-Summers - Yes, she did, but Evan isn't an X-Man anymore, Kitty, being the second youngest of the main group, is thus now the youngest. See, there IS logic there...you just have to look reeeeeaaaaaly hard.  
  
Anything but ordinary3 - Oh don't worry the Brotherhood will appear, oh yes, not yet, but they will. Tee hee.  
  
Okay guys, i'll be getting a new computer sometme soon, so it may be a day or two before i update, it depends.  
  
***  
  
Chapter 3 - Living in a material world  
  
***  
  
"Why are we here again?".  
  
Scott looked sadly at the mall, then at his companions, Jamie, Pyro, Jean and Amara.  
  
"Well, Kitty found out about her top, and Amara and I have to buy her a new one", explained Jean, "as for John and Jamie..i think they want...something to do with stationary".  
  
"We want to make YAMS banners!", said Jamie proudly.  
  
"Yep, that we are", said Pyro, "and we want them in big bright colours too!".  
  
Scott pondered for a brief moment on why John, a 17 year old, would wish to spend his free time making club banners with a 12 year old. He then remembered the mentality of said 17 year old and it made perfect sense, and thus his brain shut off from that thought piece forevermore.  
  
"Fine", he said, "but we have to be carefull with the Professors credit card, it's only here for emergencies and food".  
  
"We know!", said Amara, waving her hand, "we'll be sensible".  
  
***  
  
DING DONG  
  
Stuart the deliverly boy watched, open mouthed as the door to the Xavier Institute was opened by a giant. There was no other way to describe him. Piotr blinked down at the tiny little man, who had six big cardboard boxes around him.  
  
"Can i be helping you?".  
  
Stuart gaped a little more before clearing his throat.  
  
"Uh..yes", he said, looking at his clipboard, "i have an express overnight deliverly for a Mr Kurt Wagner?".  
  
Piotr glanced at the boxes, then at Stuart. He took a deep breath.  
  
"FUZZY BOY".  
  
Stuart had automatically dove behind a bush when he heard Piotr shouting, he was sure he was going to die. It was then he realised that Piotr was calling for someone and he rather sheepishly climbed out. A few seconds later there was a *bamf* sound from somewhere inside and a teen with blue- black hair poked his head around the huge, huge teen.  
  
"Oh cool, it came!", said Kurt happily.  
  
"...Mr Wagner?", tried Stuart.  
  
"Ja", said Kurt, "oh you people said it vould come quickly, i'm impressed!".  
  
Stuart grinned. Oh yeah, tip person, tip person!!!. He handed Kurt the clipboard to sign, which Kurt did, then pointed at a few boxes.  
  
"Be a bud, Piotr", he said.  
  
Piotr sighed, picking up all six boxes (which Stuart had to take one at a time, on a trolley), and walking into the house. Kurt payed Stuart then blinked as Stuart held out his hand, giving a small cough. Kurt grinned, missinterpreting the qeue for a tip, instead giving Stuart a high five.  
  
"Danke, dude, bye!".  
  
With that, the teen was gone. Stuart blinked, staring at his empty hand.  
  
"Cheepskates", he muttered getting into his van, pausing when he saw a boy shooting electricity out of his hands at a nearby tree....Stuart blinked a few times, before giving a frightened squeal, diving into his van and driving like his life depended on it.  
  
Inside the mansion, Kurt happily opened one of his boxes.  
  
"Weedol?", said Piotr, glancing over Kurt's shoulder, "why would you be wanting weed killer?".  
  
"To get ze killer plant in ze attic", said Kurt matter-of-factly.  
  
"Oh", said Piotr, "....ok".  
  
Piotr backed away from Kurt slowly, before heading for the safety of the common room, leaving Kurt to 'port the weedol, a box at a time, into his room.  
  
***  
  
Scott sighed sadly. He KNEW this was a bad idea. How was he going to explain this to the Professor?. Jean and Amara had indeed bought Kitty a new top. Then they bought themselves about 20 items of clothing...each, and they were STILL shopping. Pyro and Jamie had indeed bought some stationary, but then they went their sepearte ways and Scott had lost them. He looked up as Pyro appeared, carrying a very large paper bag.  
  
"Where have YOU been?", said Scott, "and where's Jamie?!!".  
  
"The kids' at the pet shop", said John, "hey, wanna see what i got?".  
  
Scott gave a defeated sigh, looking itno the paper bag. He was greeted by the sight of novelty lighters....56 of them.  
  
"Oh dear God.....".  
  
"Cool aren't they?", said Pyro proudly, "i think i found a hobby".  
  
"Good for you", said Scott dryly, before blinking, "wait...did you say that Jamie was in a pet shop?!!!".  
  
Yes, he was, and Jamie Madrox had bought himself a pet....well, it was MORE than one pet. It was multiple pets, just like him! He walked out of the pet shop, whistling happily, carrying his purchase in a big cardboard box. He grinned at Pyro and Scott as he walked over to them, putting his purchase on the floor.  
  
"Did you not hear the Professors 'no pets' rule?", asked Scott, "what do you need a pet for, we have Kurt!".  
  
"Oh these wont take up much room, Scott", said Jamie.  
  
Scott paused.  
  
"These?..as in plural? As in more than one?!!!".  
  
"You can't buy them individually, duh", said Jamie, pulling out a small cardboard package from the box, with what looked like a seed-pack attatched to it, "see? Sea Monkey eggs! I get to hatch them myself!!!"  
  
Scott mulled this over.  
  
"And Sea Monkeys are...?"  
  
Jamie looked at Scott as if he was a fool.  
  
"I'm not even answering that", he said.  
  
"You don't know...do you?", said Scott.  
  
Jamie looked at his feet.  
  
"No, no i don't", he admited, "but they LOOK really cool!. And you only feed them once a week, sometimes two weeks!".  
  
"Well, they can't have cost that much", said Scott, looking at the small cardboard box, "there's not a whole lot ot it".  
  
"Oh that's just the eggs and food!", said Jamie, rummaging around, "i also got the Sea Monkey carry watch, the Sea Monkey space station and the Sea Monkey castle and the....Scott?".  
  
Scott was no longer listening, he was banging his head repeatedly on the table.  
  
****  
  
Tabby hummed happily to herself as she walked along the hallway, pausing when she heard a thumping sound coming from Kurt's room. Was he having fun with...ugh Amanda while there we no adults around?. Well, she would put a stop to that! She stuck a boom ball into the lock of the door, exploding it open before charging in.  
  
"AH HA, You're so dea....".  
  
She trailed off, staring at Kurt's room before her. There was a small fort around Kurt's bed, made of cardboard boxes. The elf in question was sitting in the middle of his fort, filling dozens of water-guns with weedol.  
  
"Hello Tabby", he said, glancing up at her, "do you vant to join ze battle to save ze planet from ze botanical invaders?".  
  
Tabby thought on this.  
  
"Maybe later", she said, backing out of the room, heading into the kitchen, where Remy was talking on the phone.  
  
"Lots of ice, TONS of it!!", he said, "Gambit had to de-ice his trench coat!".  
  
Tabby chuckled rumaging around in the fridge.  
  
"Does he know about the rug?"  
  
Remy gave Tabby a glare, before continuting with his phone conversation.  
  
"Magneto, Gambit wants a pay rise...and tell Baldy dere isn't enough fire- extingushers here. Yeah, Goodbye!".  
  
Remy put the phone down and stared at it.  
  
"Gambit hate his job".  
  
***  
  
A little while later, the shoppers had returned home. Kitty found the replacement top acceptable and then she and Jean went to go try on all the new clothes. Jamie had locked himself in his room to go about creating his Sea Monkeys. Pyro was showing off his lighters to Amara and Gambit.  
  
"Look what THIS one does!".  
  
Pyro flicked on a harmless looking black lighter. There was nothing for a few minutes then with a fhwooof! a HUGE flame flickered up. (AN this is an actual lighter, my bud Garry owns it, we use it to burn beermats..it really should be a liscensed weapon)  
  
"Oh, please", said Amara rolling her eyes, "i can do that".  
  
As if to prove her point, she switched to her Magma form, making a huge fireball in her hands. Pyro looked at her in sheer amazment for a minute.  
  
"Wow, a girl made of fire!!", he said, then looked at Gambit, "Can we take her home with us? I'll feed her every day, i promise!".  
  
"I am NOT a pet!", snapped Amara, changing herself back.  
  
Pyro grinned at her wildly.  
  
"Oh, think of the cool stuff we could do together!!!", he said, jumping up and down like a kid in a candy store, "we could do WHATEVER we wanted!".  
  
Amara raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Like what?".  
  
"Like steal anything..oh or we could do a Robin Hood thing. I think bandits is the best", said Pyro, then squealed as in idea came to him, "We can be like Bonnie and Clyde....WITH FIRE!!!".  
  
Amara watched him for a long time.  
  
"I think you should seek professional help", she said, walking out of the room.  
  
"And dat would be a put-down", said Remy with a chuckle.  
  
"Awwww", said Pyro sadly, "she could be my living lighter".  
  
"De chere is right", said Remy, "i tink i'm going to look through Xavier's personal numbers, see if Remy can find you a phycyatrist".  
  
****  
  
And there is another chapter done and dusted. Like i said, i don't know when my next update will be, depends on this whole computer thing. Incidentally, i don't know if Pyro is 17 or not, but that's about the age i clock him as. Anyway, do review. Until next time... 


	4. The doctor is in

While the Adults are away  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "You know...hostility is like a psychic boomerang".  
  
****  
  
*Grins happily* You like this story, you really like it! I'm so happy, i could dance!!...but i won't, 'cause i'm tired...so there...neh.  
  
****  
  
Chapter 4 - The doctor is in  
  
*****  
  
Roberto was bored. He had tried NOT to be bored, he really had. He'd watched TV, he'd moved a few boulders, planted some trees.....now he had nothing to do again. He heaved a deep sigh to allow the rest of the room to know just how bored he was. Unfortunately for him, the only people in the room, Kitty and Tabby, didn't seem to care. He began to drum his hands on the coffee table in a made-up beat, until Kitty gave him DAGGERS from where she was typing on her laptop, causing him to squeak and stop right away. Tabby glanced between the two, before shrugging and going back to painting her nails.  
  
"Gambit, is a genius".  
  
All three glanced up as Remy entered the room, grinning from ear to ear.  
  
"Remy called up a Doctor to see Pyro", said Remy, a little upset no one had asked him WHY he was a genius.  
  
"Why, is he sick?", asked Roberto, rolling a pen boredly between his hands.  
  
"A head doctor, she seeing him right now", said Remy, pointing to his own forehead, before squinting at Roberto, "....is dat a tattoo?".  
  
The. Room. Went. Silent.  
  
"This is way more fun than nails", said Tabby, putting her nail polish down and leaning back to watch the show.  
  
Roberto fidgeted uncomfortably.  
  
"Err.....no".  
  
"Oui, it is!! Under your shirt, Gambit can see it!", said Remy, leaning in for a closer look, before blinking, "...you love Elvis?".  
  
Roberto made small squeaky noises.  
  
"ONE word, DaCosta, just ONE", said Kitty darkly.  
  
Remy blinked, glancing between the two.  
  
"Uh oh, Remy smells a seeeecreeeeet".  
  
"No, no you don't!", said Kitty hurredly, "you don't smell anything. DOES he Roberto?".  
  
"Huh?", said Roberto, "i mean..no...no you don't...heh heh....i'm going to...go away now".  
  
With that, Roberto leapt to his feet and RAN, leaving Remy grinning like a Cheshire cat.  
  
"Remy guess de Xavier kids aren't as good as dey make out to be", he said.  
  
"YOU can shut up too, LeBeau", snarled Kitty.  
  
Remy chuckled.  
  
"Oh non, Remy want to find out what happened", he said, looking at Tabby, "so?".  
  
"I...i...", started Tabby, looking at Kitty, then back at Remy, "i can't...she'd hurt me".  
  
"Fine!", said Remy, "Gambit find out all by himself".  
  
"You do and you'll be sorry", said Kitty, "i will phase my hand into your chest and rip the heart right out of your body, are we clear?".  
  
Remy paused to consider this. Could she DO that?.....she could be bluffing...but the others seemed to fear her...  
  
"Okay...Gambit let it lie for now", he said, nochalantly sitting down, "so...how are t'ings?".  
  
"Go away", said both girls in unison  
  
"Ahhh, de belle's LOVE Gambit", said Remy with a nod.  
  
"Go, leave, now", said Tabby.  
  
"Yeah, you....Cajun Pietro!", said Kitty.  
  
Gambit looked shocked. And he WAS shocked. Shocked and HURT!!.  
  
"Remy is NOT'ING like dat spoiled brat", he said, standing up, "well, Remy won't grace you ladies wit' his company any longer. Good-bye!".  
  
With that, he walked off, muttering under his breath, that HE wasn't a mirror-obessed, ego-driven daddys boy.  
  
*******  
  
"What do you see here, Mr Allerdyce?".  
  
Pyro squinted at the ink-blot board in front of him. He and this Physyatrist, a woman by the name of Dr Charlie (found in Xavier's address book, which Remy had 'borrowed' from his locked desk), had been in the study for a while now. They had discussed a bit of his childhood, feelings and now...now she was making him look at pieces of paper with ink on them. He leaned in for a closer look.  
  
"Fire", he stated with a nod.  
  
"...Okay", said Dr Charlie, changing to another card, "what about this one".  
  
"Fire".  
  
"And this?".  
  
"That's fire again, haven't you got ANY other cards than those with fire on them? Seeesh!".  
  
"Mr Allerdyce, what you see on the cards is what you see in your mind", she said, "we don't 'put' pictures on them".  
  
"Yeah, that's what the subliminal message people say too!", said Pyro, "but it's still there, just hidden. Subliminal message people will soon take over the world, enslaving us to do their bidding!!!".  
  
Dr Charlie blinked a few times at Pyro.  
  
"Well, Mr Allerdyce", she said, "i...i think we can call an end to this session for today".  
  
"Awwww, but i'm really getting into this now", said Pyro, "i haven't been able to tell you about all the things that burn real good yet...".  
  
"NO!", said Dr Charlie quickly, before clearing her throat, "errr...no, we don't want to overtax your feelings. These things take time....LOTS of time".  
  
"Oh", said Pyro, then looked hopefull, "so, when's my next session?".  
  
"Don't call me, i'll call you", said Dr Charlie, gathering her things as quickly as humanly possible and running for the door, "goodbye, Mr Allerdyce".  
  
She closed the door quickly behind her.  
  
"Freak", she muttered to herself, "freak, freak, freak".  
  
She didn't stop muttering until she found Gambit.  
  
"Well?", said Gambit hopefully, "is dere anyt'ing you can do for John?".  
  
"No, no there is not", said Dr Charlie, "besides putting him in a very, very strong, mental institution that does not burn easily. Your friend has a VERY serious case of Pyromania".  
  
Remy blinked a few times before making a 'phfft' sound and waving a hand in the air.  
  
"Heck, Remy already KNOW that", he said, "are you going to see him again?".  
  
"Even if i have to sell my soul to the devil himself, i am NEVER entering this house or going near that boy again", said Dr Charlie darkly, before storming out of the mansion, the sound of screeching tires coming from the driveway as she made her escape.  
  
***  
  
"Live, THEY LIVE! Mwhoahahahahahahhahahahahaha!!!!".  
  
Ray paused in the hallway as manical laughter came from Jamie's room. He KNEW he should turn back. He'd had enough fun for today. A magpie had stolen his favorite earring and had taken it up to it's nest in one of the trees of the institute. Ray had spent the last few hours zapping electricity at said tree, in an attempt to make the branch break...it didn't budge. He was on his way to find a big stick to try and poke the nest out....but his natural curiosity got the better of him, and he entered Jamie's room. Jamie was leaning by a small plastic container, giggling with a mixture of glee and insanity.  
  
"Err...Jamie?", tried Ray, "are you....feeling okay?".  
  
Jamie turned and grinned at Ray, beckoning him over.  
  
"Look, look at their crazy hyjinxs!".  
  
Ray sighed, walking across the room and leaning close to the tiny container of water.  
  
"I don't see anything", he said, "nothing but a container full of water".  
  
Jamie gave an exasperated sigh.  
  
"Look through the microscope, idiot!".  
  
Ray peered unto the small bump in the glass which served as a miscoscope. He was silent for a few minutes.  
  
"Those little white squiggles?".  
  
"They are NOT squiggles!", said Jamie, "they are sea monkeys, and they are gonna make me a millionaire!".  
  
Ray paused, watching Jamie before blinking slowly.  
  
"Err.....how?"  
  
"Duh!", said Jamie, then put in hands through the air to show the greatness of his plan, "Mr Madrox's Monkey Marvels!".  
  
Ray blinked once more...no, no try as he might, he couldn't make sense out of that.  
  
"Come again".  
  
"A sea monkey circus!", said Jamie, "people will come from miles around!. I'll have a sea monkey trapeeze, a sea monkey diving board, a sea monkey magic show, think of the cash!!!".  
  
"Have you been talking to Pyro again?".  
  
"He suggested a sea monkey hoop of fire", saud Jamie proudly.  
  
"Oh, i am so shocked", said Ray, his voice completely flat, "in fact, i think i will DIE from shock!".  
  
Jamie gave a 'harump'.  
  
"Fine, go ahead!", he said, "puncture my dreams. I don't care! Don't come running to me when i'm rolling in the dough!".  
  
"I won't hold my breath", said Ray as Jamie gathered his sea monkey-quarium and stormed off, "hey...Jamie, do you know your storming out of your own bedroom?".  
  
Jamie paused, walking back in, putting his sea monkeys down and pointing at the door.  
  
"Get. Out", he said to Ray in a deadly voice.  
  
"Fine, geez", said Ray, walking out of Jamie's room, "somebody's hitting those first puberty mood swings".  
  
He was answered by the door being slammed. Ray sighed, heading off to find that stick. Pyro arrived outside Jamie's door only minutes later, tapping on it cheerfully.  
  
"Come on, little buddy", he said, "time for offical YAMS buisness!".  
  
****  
  
Supder duper Todd Fan points if anyone can guess why the Phycatrists surname was 'Charlie'. Want a hint?. Think Stephen King. The part with Roberto's tattoo is from the first fic in this story arc 'Sugar and Spice'. It's an in-joke to those who have read it. If you haven't.....well, i'm not giving away what they were talking about, because i am feeling evil today. 


	5. The laughter ends

While the Adults are away  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "I'm sure we'll all be mutilated beyond recognition by then"  
  
****  
  
Hey all my dear readers. Sorry for the lateness of this, i have been planning my Sidney chonicles (expect the next one November at the latest). Okay, congrats to alll of these clever people who guess that the name of Pyro's temporary Psycyatrist was from Firestarter. KUDOS!  
  
****  
  
Chapter 5 - The laughter ends  
  
*****  
  
Piotr was happy. Piotr had managed to avoid any and all contact with the more....insane residents of the Xavier mansion for quite some time....but you know what they say about too much of a good thing...  
  
"HI!!".  
  
Piotr jumped a few feet in the air as something shouted in his ear suddenly, an action that was quite tough for someone of his stature, and thus resulted in him falling on the floor. He turned his head slowly to see Kurt grinning at him.  
  
"Err....hello", said Piotr, getting to his feet and glancing around in case this was an attack.  
  
"Piotr, my good friend", said Kurt, grinning, "as seen as you vere so helpfull in carrying the boxes of weedol into the house, i vanted to give you a position of general in my fight against ze killer Audrey. Vill you fight?!".  
  
Piotr blinked twice.  
  
"You are a very odd little ...thing", he said, "you worry me".  
  
Kurt rolled his eyes, his tail swishing.  
  
"Awwww you don't mean that", he said, "plllleeeaaaase, i really, REALLY need your help. You vould be an excelent addition to my team. Someone so strong and vell trained like you...".  
  
"...Or you are just needing someone to carry the heavy stuff around", said Piotr flatly, crossing his arms.  
  
"...Ja...that too", said Kurt, "come on, you and me, ve are very much alike!".  
  
Piotr paused at that thought....was he blue? No. Did he have a tail? No. Did he teleport randomly around, scaring the heck out of people? No.  
  
"How are we alike?", he finally asked.  
  
Kurt obviously hadn't seen this question coming, he cleared his throat.  
  
"Vell.....ve're both mutants....ve're both..um..foreign", he said, thinking hard, "....ve both have...eerrrr....feet?".  
  
Piotr sighed, shaking his head at Kurt.  
  
"I am feeling very sorry for you, you strange little thing you", he said, before starting to walk off.  
  
*BAMF*  
  
Kurt appeared in front of him.  
  
"PLEASE!", said Kurt, "just help me kill this one plant. PRETTY please?".  
  
Piotr raised an eyebrow before giving a defeated sigh.  
  
"Then will you be leaving me alone?".  
  
"Ja, ja", said Kurt, "you von't hear a sound from me! Danke! Eet's in Storm's attic all ve have to...".  
  
Piotr held up a hand, silencing him.  
  
"Storm's attic?".  
  
"Ja", replied Kurt, cocking his head to the side, "you afraid of heights or something?".  
  
"No", said Piotr, "i am being afraid of having lightning bolts shot at me while i am in metal form. Metal CONDUCTS electricity, you know".  
  
"Vell....just don't be in metal form vhen you're near her", tried Kurt.  
  
"She will remember", said Piotr darkly, "she will be waiting. I know that a woman scorned.....".  
  
He stepped away from Kurt, then walked off, not wanting to have ANYTHING to do with this plot so he could claim complete inocence when Ororo saw whatever Kurt was planning to do to her garden. Kurt sighed sadly, well, he'd just have to find someone else.  
  
*****  
  
"I don't think we should be here".  
  
Jamie glanced nervously around from where he and Pyro were stood outside of the Brotherhood Boarding house.  
  
"Oh, don't worry, i'm tight with these guys", said Pyro, knocking on the door, it being answered by Lance a few seconds later, "hey there brovah!".  
  
Lance blinked a few times.  
  
"Pietro, the fire-starting freak is here again", he shouted into the house, "you want me to set the hose pipe on him again?".  
  
Pyro laughed, slapping Lance on the shoulder.  
  
"Heh heh heh", said Pyro, "don't you just LOVE this guy?!".  
  
"Don't touch me".  
  
"Hey, is Toad around?", asked Pyro, "me and my comerade here have a proposition for him".  
  
Lance arched an eyebrow at Jamie, then put his head into the house.  
  
"TOAD!", he shouted, "that manic Austrailian wants to speak to you".  
  
Todd appeared by the door a few minutes later, Lance taking the opportunity to escape inside.  
  
"Toad, my brovah!", said Pyro, holding his hand in the air for a high five.  
  
Todd stared at Pyro's hand and blinked, not returning the gesture.  
  
"What do you want?".  
  
Pyro looked a little dejected, putting his hand down.  
  
"Me and Jamie have a proposition for you", he said.  
  
He and Jamie proceeded to excitedly tell Todd about YAMS. After they were done, Todd arched an eyebrow.  
  
"Ya want me to join a group because i'm the youngest?".  
  
"Yeah!", said Jamie, jumping up and down, "i mean, you're an abused younger member, we KNOW you are!".  
  
Todd considered this, before pulling a face, shaking his head.  
  
"Sorry, that'd cut inta my 'Wanda time'", he said, "if i joined, i wouldn't have time to flirt with her and tell her how much i...".  
  
"He'll join!", shouted Wanda, suddenly pushing to the door, "sign him up, NOW".  
  
"But Cuddlebumps...", said Todd, "will you be okay?...i mean, i won't have the time to pamper you"  
  
"I'll survive!", said Wanda, "go, go now, join right now".  
  
Before Todd could argue anymore, Wanda pushed him out of the house, slamming the door behind him.  
  
*****  
  
Stuart couldn't belive his luck. Twice to the same house in ONE DAY?!! Someone musn't like him up there. He sighed, hopping out of his van, on the lookout for anyone shooting at trees...or big huge Russian guys. Nothing. He knocked on the door to have a blonde girl answer it.  
  
"Hi", said Stewart, looking at his clipboard, "this is a package for a Mr Roberto DaCosta?".  
  
"Cool, i'll give it to him!", said Tabby, snatching the box away, then smiling at him flirtatiously, "you wan't me to..sign something?".  
  
Stuart gulped, thrusting the clipboard at her. Tabby signed it, handing back the clipboard then running a finger down his chest.  
  
"I never could resist a guy in uniform".  
  
"I have to go now!", said Stuart, backing up quickly, tripping over a ceramic duck......what the Hell?  
  
"Oh, but don't you want to stay?", said Tabby, "i can treat your wounds".  
  
"Nonononononononono", said Stuart, shaking his head violently and leaping itno his van, tearing away.  
  
Tabby watched him go, shrugged and walked inside.  
  
"Robbie, there's a package for you", she said, depositing it on the table.  
  
Roberto walked over, arching an eyebrow before realising it was from Brazil and tore into it. He blinked in suprise, seeing a wrapped parcel with a bow on it. He picked up the card with it and read it out loud.  
  
"To Mildred Happy Birthday, Lots of Love, Nanna".  
  
Tabby managed to keep a straight face for all of five seconds before falling into a laughing heap on the floor.  
  
"MILDRED?!!!".  
  
"She's OLD okay?", said Roberto, "she lives in a nursing home, she forgets things....like my birthday...and my name...and my gender".  
  
He sighed, opening the package to reveal a game box. Dragon Trybe was scrawled over it in gothic writing.  
  
"Oh boy", said Tabby, finally composing herself, "that's that really geeky game...kinda like Dungons and Dragons. There's a club for it in school".  
  
"I know, it's where all the geeks hang out", said Roberto, tossing the box aside, "i hate my family".  
  
****  
  
Jamie smiled happily as he walked into his room, YAMS had gained another member and the sea monkeys were thriving. He stopped dead when he saw Scott looking at the sea monkeys....oh no.  
  
"Mmmmmmm", said Scott, picking up the tank and looking at it, tilting it to the left, then to the right.  
  
"Be carefull with that", said Jamie from the door.  
  
"I will, calm down", said Scott, "i wonder what they do when you tilt it upside down?"  
  
"NO!", shouted Jamie, but it was too late.  
  
Scott turned to tank upside down, to his shock, the lid wasn't on all that tight, and the thing fell off, tipping the water, along with it's microscopic inhabitants, onto the floor, where it all soaked into the carpet.  
  
"Ooops", said Scott, looking sheepish, "sorry Jamie".  
  
Jamie stared at Scott for a long time, before he clapped his hands together, resulting in a pack of 12 Jamie's. They shook their fists in front of them, and started to march towards Scott. Scott whimper, Jamie was mad, Jamie was going to hurt him.....It couldn't get any worse than this...then they started to chant.  
  
"Doom on you, doom on you", chanted the clones in perfect unison, marching towards Scott.  
  
He whimpered and backed up against the wall as the army of Jamies advanced on him.  
  
"Doom on you, doom on you, doom on you, doom on you".  
  
Jean blinked as she heard a scream of terror echo through the house. Inside, she desperately wanted to go and save the guy she loved.....but her will to keep her own life was that little bit stronger. So instead, she put her headphones on and carried on sculpting with her clay, humming 'Unchained Melody' as she did so.  
  
***  
  
Another chappy down and done! The fate of Jamie's Sea Monkeys is exactly the fate of what happened to a batch of mine, my friends brother was an idiot....god rest their tiny little souls. Anyway, do review,. Until next time... 


	6. One weird night

While the adults are away  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "And you must be the monopoly man...thanks for the free parking".  
  
****  
  
Chaotic Boredom - Ahhh i was wondering if anyone would point that out, Kudos, don't worry, all will be explained, not JUST yet, but soon ;)  
  
I couldn't resist going further into the Dragon Trybe game, you know why? I get to make up words! Yeah! It's lots of fun. And yes, the chant 'doom on you' was indeed from Ice Age, such a great movie. If it has more characters, i'd parody it, but it doesn't...so i wont. An yes, Evan will indeed make an appearence in this fic *giggles*. Not in this chapter, this is just a filler chapter to get from one story point to another...so it's kinda a crappy chapter..oh well. ****  
  
Chapter 6 - One weird night  
  
*****  
  
Night came onto the Xavier Institute quicklly. Pyro, Piotr and Remy each had a guest bedroom, which, they pointed out gleefully, were MUCH bigger than their bedrooms in the Acolytes base. Pyro took one look at the long curtains and promptly said they were the work of the devil, burning them to a crisp a few seconds later. Scott had gone to bed early. His 'accident' with Jamie had resulted in his arm being put in a cast.....it made him vow NEVER to touch anything of Jamie's ever, ever again. Kitty gave a sleepy yawn, heading for her own room. She paused outside the common room, seeing Ray playing around with Roberto's (or rather, Mildred's) discarded Dragon Trybe game.  
  
"Ray....you are aware that is a game for geeks", she pointed out.  
  
"Not so", said Ray, "this is pretty cool, looking at it. Besides, i'm only having a small game".  
  
"Okay....", said Kitty, "you do that...don't forget that important little thing called sleep, huh?".  
  
"Yeah, whatever", said Ray waving her off, his head burried in the game book, "so, three frondouks add up to one ulpiton. Cool".  
  
Kitty blinked a few times before shaking her head sadly and going to bed.  
  
*****  
  
Amara sighed, she was sleepy. She wanted to go to bed. It had been a long, long day. She fell happily into her bed and turned off the light, closing her eyes. There was a rustle. Amara opened one eye, seeing someting shadowy at the foot of her bed, the shadow thing moved to the head of the bed. She instantly made a fireball in her hands, lighting up the area around her. She came face to face with Pyro.  
  
"ARGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!".  
  
She fell backwards and off her bed with a thump.  
  
"Hi!", said Pyro cheefully, as if there was nothing out of the ordinary to be sitting in someone elses room, watching them sleep.  
  
"What do you want?", hissed Amara, dispitaing the fireball, putting on her light, glaring at him, "this is NOT your room".  
  
"I have another idea", said Pyro.  
  
"Can't it wait until morning?", said Amara with a groan, lying on her bed and burrying her head in her pillow.  
  
"No", said Pyro, "i'll forget it".  
  
"Then write it down".  
  
"I can't", said Pyro sheepishly, "whenever i try to keep paper...it always gets burnt. It burns SO well, you know?".  
  
Amara took in a deep breath and let it out. No, no she didn't feel any calmer.  
  
"Get out now, or i'll dump a lake of lava on you", she hissed,  
  
"OH, yes please!!!", said John excitedly, "i think lava would burn REALLY well!".  
  
Amara thought for a few seconds.  
  
"NO! PYRO, I'M NOT THAT SORT OF GIRL!", she shouted, so the whole house could hear her, "ARRGHHH! DON'T TOUCH ME THERE! BAD BOY, BAD!!".  
  
Pyro blinked at her.  
  
"But i'm not....".  
  
He didn't get to finish his sentance as Sam, Piotr, Remy, Scott and Rogue came charging into the room.  
  
"What's wrong", asked Scott, weilding his cast arm like a weapon.  
  
"He...he tried to take advantage of me", said Amara, pointing wildily at Pyro.  
  
"No i didn't!", repiled Pyro, only to find himself being dragged away by Sam.  
  
"That's no way to treat a lady", scolded the well-brought-up Kentucky boy, "you should be ashamed of yourself".  
  
"But it didn't DO anything!!!", pleaded Pyro, "all did was ask if she wanted to burn things up! Turn on the heat.....stop talking John".  
  
"Don't worry, Chere", said Remy, "we make sure he stays ALONE from now on!".  
  
"But", started John, as he was dragged to his room by Sam and Piotr, "i'm inocent!!!".  
  
"Shut up or a'hll knock you out, you sicko!", growled Rogue, then looked at Amara, "will you be okay?".  
  
"I'll be fine", said Amara in a small voice, "i'll just...sleep for now, safe knowing that he's locked up somewhere else in the mansion".  
  
With that, the others left the room. Amara did a little happy dance before settling back into her bed. Sure her conciense would try and niggle at her later, but she was good at ignoring things like that.  
  
***  
  
And so the house fell into slumber...well...almost. Kurt was sitting up in his bed, eyes WIDE open, just in case the plant crawled down from the attic to get him. His little fort of weedoll and cardboard boxes was strong...though he didn't know how long it would hold if the plant took control of the other plants and made an plant army??!!!! Kurt squeaked and grabbed the phone on his bedside table, ordering yet another 5 cases of weedoll. Better safe than sorry. Pyro had been locked in the danger room with a blanket and a pillow and was told he would stay there until he learned to be a gentleman. Needless to say, the fire-weilding mutant couldn't sleep, at all. It was cold, and they had taken away all flame sources from him. He gave a shiver and a small, sad sigh. He would get his revenge. Oh yes, Amara would be sorry for putting him through this. He gave an evil giggle to himself as a plot formed in his mind. Another whom wasn't asleep was Ray, he had descovered the wonders of Dragon Trybe, and had got so into it, he hadn't moved from the Commmon Room even when the sun rose the next morning.  
  
"Have you slept at ALL?", asked Tabby, the first up and she headed into the Common Room.  
  
"Mmmmm? No", said Ray, "slipped my mind. I mean, i managed to get the staff of Lord Glazitat and that..wow, it opened so many new levels for me".  
  
Tabby blinked.  
  
"Ray?", she said carefully, "do you know you're making no sense?"  
  
"I need to find the golden stick of destiny", continued Ray, oblivious, "but to get to that i need to cross the woods of firelizard souls...and face the Olwind King, and he is one tough Falzinet and to beat him, i need the egg of the rock of Garnebata".  
  
Tabby blinked again, then came up with the only piece of advice she could offer her friend.  
  
"....You need help".  
  
*****  
  
Yup, not a very big chapter, but the next one will be, where a Evo character makes their Todd Fan fic debut. Oh yes, someone i haven't written before, i'm finally jumping there and writing this person. Do review. Until next time... 


	7. A new player

While the Adults are Away  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "You're a little low in the food chain to be mouthing off, aren't you?"  
  
****  
  
Okay, as promised, one of the Evo characters makes her Todd Fan fic debut. I have never written her before, so this should be interesting....very interesting. Nope, i already wrote Paul, he hti on Sidney in my very first Sidney fic, he's been in a few musical numbers too ;)  
  
*****  
  
Chapter 7 - A new Player  
  
****  
  
Piotr gave a happy sigh of contentment. Pyro had been released and was somewhere sulking in the mansion and Remy..he could be anywhere. But Piotr, he didn't care. He was lounging in the sun, enjoying the peace and tranquility....until something fell on his chest with a thud. Piotr opened one eye to see an angry looking teenaged girl staring at him.  
  
"Err...hello?", he tried, "are you one of the students that i missed?".  
  
The girl stared at him for a few seconds before giving a growl. Piotr chuckled, she didn't look THAT scary.  
  
*SNIKT*  
  
It was then that two claws popped out of each hand...adamantium claws...oh boy.  
  
"Where's Wolverine?", growled X23.  
  
"He's....on a training programe", said Piotr with a nervous chuckle, trying to get out from under the tiny physcopath before she did any damage, "he will not be coming back for a while yet".  
  
X23 gave a frustrated sigh, drawing her claws back in.  
  
"Well that's just GREAT", she said, "'come and see me, anytime', he says, i'll always be here', he says. HAH!".  
  
Piotr gave a sigh of relief as she jumped off his chest and proceeded to punch a tree repeatedly.  
  
"You know...", he said, standing up slowly, "i am sure you can stay here until he comes back".  
  
X23 pondered this for a minute. Safety in a nice, big, plush mansion. Hunted by Hydra and S.H.I.E.L.D while taking cover in a damp storm drain...no contest.  
  
"Fine, but i get my own room", she said, storming into the house.  
  
Ray glanced up from DragonTrybe to see who had entered before turning back to the game. It took his brain about 5 seconds to catch up to his eyes before he glanced up again.  
  
"X.....X23", he stammered, "what are you...doing..here?".  
  
He gulped and closed his eyes.  
  
"Please don't kill me", he whimpered.  
  
He opened one eye when there was silence, to his sheer horror, X23 was reaching out to touch one of his playing pieces.  
  
"DON'T TOUCH THAT!!!", he shouted, batting her hand away, before realising exactly what he had done, jumping back about a foot and cowering.  
  
X23 frowned at him before looking at the game.  
  
"What is this?".  
  
Ray blinked...no disemboweling had occured yet.....maybe she was sick.  
  
"It's a board game", said Ray, "you have to fight through the DragonTrybe world and defeat the powerfull and evil Mage Lord Hispondoria".  
  
X23 arched an eyebrow. She had never heard of a board game before in her entire life. She looked at it again, before looking at Ray.  
  
"Can i play?".  
  
*****  
  
Elsewhere, Amanda was going about melting herself a brand new pathway. She had been working secretly on it for weeks. It would give her a personal path right to the pool, which only she, Princess of Nova Roma, could use. Heh heh. All she had to do was finish off these few stones and it would be done!  
  
Amara created a fireball in her hands.  
  
Phffft.  
  
It went out. She blinked and tried again.  
  
Phhfft.  
  
What the heck? She heard a giggle and turned to see Pyro leaning on a tree, waving. She gave a growl and changed into her full Magma form. Big. Mistake. Suddenly, her own hand came up and started to slap her.  
  
"Quit hitting yourself", giggled Pyro, "quit hitting yourself, quit hitting yourself".  
  
"QUIT IT!", whined Amara!.  
  
"No", replied Pyro, "this is payback. Mwhoahahahahhahahahahah heh heh!".  
  
Amara squealed in terror as she floated into the air and started to sail along her unfinished path, about three feet in the air.  
  
"Oh very funny, put me down, that's an ORDER!", she snapped.  
  
"No way", said Pyro with another manical chuckle, "this is waaaaaaay too much fun!"  
  
It was then Amara decided that the only way to stop this madness was to take away the fire from him. No fire, no powers. With that, she powered down. Unfortunately, Amara wasn't looking where she was floating and powered down right above the pool. The pool that had not yet been cleaned. The pool that was filled with pool slime and smelt worse than Toad.  
  
SPLASH.  
  
Pyro laughed hysterically, pointing as Amara resurfaced spluttering out the dirty pool water. She gave Pyro a look that spat venom before climbing out of the pool and squelching with all the dignity she could muster, back into the house.  
  
****  
  
Rogue meanwhile had been enjoying a few minutes of peace AWAY from that anoying Cajun. Who she didn't like at all. So there....even if he did have those lovely eyes....and that charm...and that accent...sigh. She stopped dead when she noticed her brother in the middle of his room, working on a strange object surrounded by cans of weed killer.  
  
".....Kurt", she said carefully, "what are you doing?".  
  
Kurt grinned up at her.  
  
"I'm fighting ze good fight, Sis!", he said proudly, "i'm going to get rid of that demon plant vith this!".  
  
Rogue blinked at the object in the middle of the room.  
  
"What IS it?".  
  
"Eet's", Kurt paused for effect, "a VEEDOLL BOMB!".  
  
Rogue blinked again....alright, it was clear that Kurt had gone off the edge of insanity...poor soul.  
  
"How in the name of all things holy did you make that?", she asked, examining a rather nasty-looking piece of machinery.  
  
"Oh i found some things in the back of Forge's pickup truck", said Kurt with a shrug, "i'm sure he von't mind me using it to fight off Ororo's plants...that and he can divert her anger from me vhen she finds out".  
  
Rogue shook her head.  
  
"You are an evil little....thing", she said, "and a'h hope it's this good an idea when you're in Hell".  
  
Kurt rolled his eyes.  
  
"I'm doing ze vorld a favour!", he said, "now all i have to do is find a vay to get Sam out of the vay so i can go to VAR!".  
  
"Good luck to ya", said Rogue, "Sam's guarding that attic with his life".  
  
*******  
  
At that very moment, though, Sam was NOT guarding the attic. He had been tipped off by Jamie (who was still stinging over the sea monkey incident) that Kurt was plotting on destroying the plants of the attic. Sam, concerned that Ororo would blame him, the guy she put in charge of protecting her plants, for their untimely demise, had gone on a trek to find Kurt and put an end to his operation. What he FOUND, on the other hand, he would never forget. It would haunt him for a long time to come. Sitting in the common room on either side of a table, were Ray and X23...playing something.  
  
"By the power of Lord Quezipeck!", shouted Ray, rolling his dice and giving a gleefull shout, "i, Raymond Crisp, use the staff of Lokisit and take away your ultimate weapon!".  
  
X23 watched in horror as Ray swiped her game piece off the board.  
  
"How DARE you take my halebellow", she said.  
  
"Hey, it's not my fault i'm a better Meerclar than you", said Ray, "lehooo- seeeherrr"  
  
X23 responded to this insult the only way she knew how. The only way she knew how to respond to ANYTHING. Full. Stop. Pure-Unadulterated-Violence.  
  
"DIE!".  
  
She threw the playing piece at Ray's head. Unfortunately, Ray ducked and the piece carried on sailing through the air until it stopped. It stopped for one reason alone. It had hit Sam. It had hit Sam in the eye. The Southern boy fell to the floor with a thud. X23 and Ray glanced at him.  
  
"Ooooohhhh you did it noooooow", said Ray.  
  
SNIKT  
  
Ray glanced at the claws.  
  
"....Or not"  
  
Both teenagers looked at the felled Sam before coming to a split-second conclusion that they both agreed on. They both ran or, in the case of X23, walked away from the scene of the crime, leaving someone else to do the dirty work of looking after Sam for them. As she passed the table, X23 scooped up the DragonTrybe game...so they could just play it somewhere else.  
  
"Medic", whimpered Sam from the ground  
  
****  
  
Another chapter down. How is my X23? You know, i started off not really caring about her..but now i have wrote her in...i kinda like her. She's fun. Damn, now i want to see Target X. Oh well. Do review. Until next time... 


	8. War of the Weedoll

While the Adults are Away  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "Ha ha ha! Oh, I get it. You thought you could outsmart me, man; you thought you could just shrink the Tiki Man down and I wouldn't notice. Well, guess what, Wayne? I NOTICED!!!!!!!! "  
  
****  
  
Oh yes my faithfull readers, be prepared for another tie-in-place from Teacher Training. May it bring back fond memories. Chrissie9 - Audrey I and II are both characters from the movie/musical/movie musical 'Little Shop Of Horrors'. I made a parody of the last one called 'Little Shop of Mutants' ;)  
  
****  
  
Chapter 8 - War of the weedoll  
  
****  
  
"At LEAST let me put some ice on it".  
  
"No!".  
  
Jean gave a heavy sigh, putting her hands on her hips and giving Sam a disaproving look. His left eye had been swollen shut, the skin around it a rather unhealthy purple colour. Apparently, a phobia Sam had never let on to anyone was that he disliked people touching his eyes. In fact, he was downright terrified of it.  
  
"Well, you're going to the Optitians", said Scott, picking at his plaster- cast-arm.  
  
"STOP PICKING AT IT!", yelled Jean, making Scott flinch, before she looked at Sam, "yep, you need to get that looked at".  
  
"Nope, not going", said Sam, crossing his arms, "a'hll be fine, see? A'h can open it a bit already".  
  
With that he tried to force is eyes open, it did so, revealing a tiny gap before Sam winced and clsoed it again.  
  
"It's okay to be scared of Optitians", said Jean, "i'm afraid of the dentist"  
  
"A'hm not afraid of Obtitians!", said Sam, "what a'hm afraid of is having BIG HUGE NEEDLES POKED INTO MA'H EYE!!".  
  
It was then that a phone was thrust in front of his face by Tabby, who had a big smug grin on her face. Sam blinked his good eye and took the phone.  
  
"Hello?", he said, "oh...Ma'...hi..yes, but....but...a'h know...yes...y'see...ohh...ok...yes ma'...Love you too.....ugh...promise...bye".  
  
Sam put the phone down before giving Tabby a dark look.  
  
"That was low".  
  
"Yes, it was", said Tabby, "but a GOOD Southern boy like you would NEVER break a promise to his mother..would you?".  
  
Sam gave a defeated groan, banging his head on the table.  
  
*****  
  
Meanwhile, up in Ororo's attic, Kurt had taken Sam's affliction as a blessing and was setting up his Weedoll bomb in a dark corner of the room, chuckling evily to himself. Unknown to him, two other people were in the room at that time as well. X23 and Ray had taken the game up to the one place they figured they'd have peace and quiet. No. Such. Luck.  
  
"And through the fireblock of Cintahanak i go", said X23 proudly, proceeding to the next level in the game, "i'm beating you".  
  
"Don't get so cocky", warned Ray, "i still have my Usling Harp....i'm not out of the race yet".  
  
X23 paused, sniffing the air.  
  
"What?", asked Ray blinking before sniffing under his arms, "it's not me, i swear".  
  
"Nightcrawler", said X23 with a growl, "and some kind of... *sniff sniff*...chemical".  
  
"GO, MY VEEDOLL BOMB, GO!!!".  
  
Both Ray and X23 blinked as there was a beeping sound followed by a *bamf*. The beeping got louder and faster....then there was a split second of silence.  
  
"Awwww crap", said Ray.  
  
BOOM!  
  
The attic became full of a Weedoll gas cloud of death. Ray panicked, picking up a paperweight from the nearest table and hurling it at the skylight to get some fresh air in. All around, plants began to wilt and die, making the attic look like it had been subject to an enviromental disaster. As the Weedoll was sucked through the smashed window, the ominous cloud killed off a few trees in the grounds of the school before heading towards town....and Principal Kelly's prize sunflower garden....there would be tears in the morning.  
  
"Hey...physco girl?", shouted Ray, coughing back some Weedoll, "you okay?".  
  
There was a giggle. Ray blinked as the gas cleared, seeing X23 sitting happily amongst all the dead plants, her eyes wide. Apparently, inhanced senses and a high concentration of industral strength weed-killer didn't mix....at all.  
  
"I want to have some fun!!!!", she said with a laugh, "play with me, Ray!".  
  
Ray backed away slightly.  
  
"Err...no", he said.  
  
X23 giggled hysterically, jumping up and smacking Ray on the arm.  
  
"Tag, you're it!!!", she laughed, before running off out of the attic, "can't catch meeeee!!!".  
  
Ray pondered leaving her run herself out for a while. Then again, he couldn't exactly leave her get HURT in this kind of condition...Logan would kill him. Besides, she'd never got to play before, she could probably use the fun. Not that HE would have fun with her, nope, not at all. He was doing this as a favour to Logan. Yup. Keeping an eye on Logans clone/family...thing....nothing to do with being in the company of a pretty girl, nope.  
  
"Oh, you are SO caught!", he said, running after her.  
  
****  
  
Meanwhile, Pyro was whistling happily to himself. He had got his revenge and he felt GOOD. He paused as the phone beside him started to ring. He glanced around, nope, no one else around. He shrugged and picked it up.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hello John, i am WATCHING you!", came a voice on the other end.  
  
John blinked. It sounded an AWFUL lot like Storm....but not at the same time. He glanced around the room, he couldn't SEE anyone around.  
  
"....Who's watching me?", he asked carefully.  
  
There was silence for a long time, before the voice spoke again.  
  
"It is ME, John".  
  
Pyro blinked. It couldn't be! Those aliens Kurt was going on about....oh or maybe it was...oh no, it was, it must be...It was Kathy Bates!!!!!  
  
"Oh my God!. I KNEW you'd find me!!", squealed Pyro.  
  
"Pyro...who are you talking to?", asked Remy, looking in bewilderment as Pyro was screaming at the phone.  
  
"Kathy Bates has come to take me to her spaceship!!!", shouted Pyro, "she's gonna do experiments on me so i can't have children!!!!".  
  
Remy muttered under his breath that it would be a BLESSING before wrestling the phone off Pyro. He listened for a second, he swore he could hear giggling....and someone giving a sad, frustrated groan. This sounded very familiar. In fact, he had got a similar phone call a few times already. It had been two, giggling female voices asking if that was his true eye colour and if he looked hot in speedos. Apparently, female number two had vanished...maybe they WERE watching them.  
  
"Remy don't know who you are dat keeps calling dis number, but you can just stop it now!", threatened Remy, slamming the phone down.  
  
He turned to Pyro.  
  
"Don't you answer de phone no more", he said, "dey only makin' you more highly strung".  
  
"Okay", said Pyro with a defeated sigh, blinking as a tree fell down in the grounds, unable to fight the Weedoll cloud of death.  
  
****  
  
Meanwhile outside, Jamie was putting the finishing touches to his latest plot against the mean older members. Todd stood with him, raising an eyebrow. The youngster had been unervingly quiet since the death of his beloved Sea Monkeys and it was only now that YAMS was doing anything..at all. Pyro had been unable to attend, Jamie had a sneaking suspison that Pyro's short attention span had already got bored of the group.  
  
"So...why are we doin' this again?", asked Todd.  
  
"Because they need to know they can't dominate us, man!", said Jamie.  
  
"An' paintin' pink gophers on Magneto's metal orbs is gonna do that fer us.....how?", asked Todd.  
  
"Because the pink gophers symbolyse everything that is wrong with the society they have created where the oldest gets first", replied Jamie, "the pink gophers will be our mascots of freedom from opression".  
  
Todd sighed, and to think, he'd passed up a lovely romantic dinner with Wanda for this. Though, really speaking, Todd was safer here. Wanda was NOT in the best of moods as of late. Todd knew that Wanda - plus PMS, was the equivalent of driving a truck full of NitroGlycerlyn across a rickety bridge....best to stay CLEAR until it had passed.  
  
"We need new members", sad Todd.  
  
"We need more groups then", said Jamie, "YOU know anymore groups around here?".  
  
"The Morlocks?", said Todd with a shrug.  
  
Jamie grinned, snapping his fingers.  
  
"YEAH!", he said excitedly, "we'll go there, i mean, they got that little...creepy girl. She can join and give us a female member".  
  
Todd was about to reply when another tree fell down.  
  
"Man...what's killin' all the plants?"  
  
******  
  
And there we go, another chapter down and dusted. Oh yes, our YAMS head off to the tunnels in the next chapter, what fun! Do review. Until next time... 


	9. You're it!

While the Adults are Away  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "Oh, sorry. Detail I guess I forgot to mention. You die, you lose".  
  
****  
  
Devil_raptor - Sorry, no Leech in THIS fic. I haven't seen season 4 yet, as the UK is evil and mean, and won't show any new episodes yet *hisses at UK TV*  
  
Elieen - I don't know if it's sold in the States, but over here, Weedoll is a weed killer.  
  
Sailor J-chan - There have been rumors that X23 is modeled after Lady Deathstrike (Yriko), but she's a mutant created just for Evo, like Evan and a good few of the Morlocks.  
  
***  
  
Chapter 9 - You're It!  
  
****  
  
"If someone told me i'd be spendin' the rest of my day in a sewer with a kid, lookin' fer another kid...i'd have laughed", said Todd sadly as he hopped through the dark and nasty sewers.  
  
"Oh cheer up!", said Jamie, "we could be getting a new member".  
  
"Intrudersssssssss".  
  
Todd narrowed his eyes, used to seeing in poor light, took one look at Caliban an screamed his girly scream, hopping behind Jamie.  
  
"Stay back!", shouted Todd, "i got a one-kid army!!!!"  
  
"Hi Caliban!", said Jamie, giving a cheerfull wave, "remember me? I'm Jamie. I hid under here with my friends after the world tried to hunt us down".  
  
Caliban looked at him for a full minute.  
  
"I don't like remembering people", he said, "it makessss me ssssad"  
  
Jamie gave an anyoyed groan.  
  
"Go get Evan".  
  
"No".  
  
"Why?".  
  
"Becaussssse".  
  
There was another splash behind Caliban and Evan stepped out of the shadows. Todd blinked twice before screaming and ducking behind Jamie again.  
  
"That spiky thing ate Evan!", he said.  
  
"......That IS Evan....duh", said Jamie dryly, then smiled at Evan, "hey who's the youngest of the Morlocks? Is it that creepy little girl? I have a proposition for her".  
  
Evan raised a spiky eyebrow before sighing defeatedly.  
  
"Torpid", he shouted, "visitors".  
  
Within seconds, Torpid came skipping past Caliban and Evan. She NEVER got visitors! She made a happy face when she saw who it was, clapping her oversized hands and dancing around in a circle. It was the other kid! The one who could multiply, and he'd come to see HER!!!.  
  
"She's happy to see you", filled in Evan  
  
"....I can see that", said Jamie, backing away slightly as Torpid fluttered her eyelashes at him, he cleared his throat, "can we have a few secs with her alone?".  
  
Caliban and Evan looked at each other, then back at the pair of outsiders.  
  
"We'll be watching, reeeeeeal closssssse", threatened Caliban, shrinking into the shadows.  
  
"Relax, Cal, they can't get through the tunnels without us knowing", said Evan, following him.  
  
Jamie and Todd looked back to Torpid, who smiled expectantly.  
  
"Okay, we are proud members of YAMS", said Jamie.  
  
Torpid blinked, then mimed eating.  
  
"No, not the sweet potato", said Todd with a sigh, "Younger Abused Members Society".  
  
"It's for those of us who are the youngest in our groups that are tired of bieng treated...well....like the youngest", explained Jamie, "wanna join?".  
  
Torpid wrinkled her nose, she wasn't being treated in a nasty way...she loved it here. Then again....she could spend some time with beautifull blue eyes there. She gave a small smile and nodded.  
  
"Cool!", said Jamie, thrusting his specially made 'YAMS Welcome Pack' into her hands, glad she was wearing gloves, "welcome to the group, Sister Torpid".  
  
******  
  
"Take the eye drops, Sam".  
  
"No".  
  
Jean narrowed her eyes. The time spent at the optitian had NOT been a fun one. Roberto had to forcibly hold Sam down in the chair so Dr Blinkin' could examine Sam's eye. The verdict was an infection caused by something hitting his eye (that would be X23's Yeloygoin) and had to take eye drops twice a day and wear and eyepatch. Once everyone had got all the pirate jokes out of their system, which, needless to say, took a while, it was time to persuade Sam to take the drops. It was NOT easy.  
  
"Sam, if you don't take your eye drops, you'll never get better!", she snapped.  
  
"A'h don't care", said Sam, "ah'm fine with one eye".  
  
"You flew into a lampost", said Roberto, "you know why? BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T SEE WHERE YOU WERE GOING!!!".  
  
"That was an accident", said Sam, "okay, look a'hll do it ma'hself".  
  
He removed his patch and held the eye dropper above him. Just as he released a drop however, he flinched his head away. He put the bottle down and smiled.  
  
"There, did it".  
  
"No you didn't, you turned your head away!", said Tabby.  
  
"No, no, a'h dropped it in, honest", said Sam, "ahhhh a'h can feel it healin' already".  
  
"Do it properly, Sam", said Jean.  
  
"A'h did a'h....", Sam trailed off, crossing his arms, "no".  
  
Jean, Tabby and Roberto looked at each other, each giving a nod.  
  
"GET HIM!".  
  
Sam gave a squeak as Roberto powered up and tackled him to the ground, Jean following suit, using her TK to help.  
  
"Arrrrghhh! Get offa me!!!", said Sam, trying desperately to get away from them.  
  
Roberto sat on Sam's legs, while Jean sat on his chest, holding his arms down. Tabby took this oportunity to grab his head, forcibly open his eye and drop two drops into it, Sam yelling for mercy all the time. As soon as the deed was done, Roberto, Tabby and Jean stepped WELL away. Sam stood up, put the patch over his eye and walked out with the tiny shred of dignity he had left......which sadly he lost when he walked into the wall. Damnit this patch screwed up this depth perception.  
  
"You're all going to Hell", he said simply before leaving.  
  
"And we have to do this twice a day for five days?", said Tabby, "....we need a better plan, he'll be expecting us now".  
  
******  
  
"I am stuck on Bandaid because Bandaid's stuck on me", sang X23 happily as she jumped from tree to tree.  
  
Unfortunately, the last tree she landed on had been affected by the Weedoll, which would later be known as Kurt's 'whoopsie'. Unable to take even HER weight, it collapsed on the ground, throwing X23 off with it. She blinked,dazed for a second before her healing factor kicked in and she shrugged it off.  
  
"Oh well", she said, before skipping off.  
  
Ray blinked at this random destruction...heh, Wolverine would be maaaaad later. He would be so mad that...  
  
"Ooomf", Ray was suddenly pushed from behind, falling head-first into a pile of leaves, he groaned and looked back to see a hyper X23....okay how many of her WERE there? He was SURE she was just in front of him.  
  
"You're It!", said X23.  
  
"....I thought i was already 'It'", said Ray, sitting up with a groan.  
  
"Oh.....", said X23, the shrugged, "what do i know?, i've never played this game before".  
  
She smiled at him expectantly. Ray gave a defeated sigh and poked her on the leg. X23 blinked at her leg, then at Ray.  
  
"You're It now", said Ray, "i tagged you".  
  
"Ok", said X23, blinking a few more times, "errrr....what do i do now?"  
  
"I run away, and you have to try and catch me", said Ray, "once you've caught me, then i'm it, and i have to catch you...and so it goes on".  
  
Realisation dawned on X23's face.  
  
"Oh!. I get it now!!!", she said proudly, "this is kinda like a training programe i had in Hydra".  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"Yeah", said X23, "it was called Predator!....the only difference is that i don't kill you once i've caught you. But i'm SURE i can remember that"  
  
Ray's face twitched ever so slightly.  
  
"Grreeeeeaaaaat", he said with a nervous laugh, before giving a squeak and RUNNING.  
  
X23 laughed and waitied for a few minutes before going after him...so, she liked a challenge.  
  
****  
  
Another chapter down. The fun we are having with Sam was inspired by Friends. TOW Joey's Big Break, though i am planning to brign it to whole new levels of madness. Oh yes. Anyway, do review. Incidentally, for those who are interested, the first chapter of my 6th Sidney chronicle had just been put up ;) Until next time... 


	10. The inveitable happens

While the Adults are Away  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "You don't say sorry when you shoot somebody. You can say sorry when you step on someone's toe, or accidentally break their glasses, or when you fart while they're eating".  
  
****  
  
Jewelz - You can't find any Romy's? 0_o. They are everywhere! *shudders* Yup i like the couple, but they aren't gonna be highlighted in this fic, nope.  
  
****  
  
Chapter 10 - The inveitable happens  
  
****  
  
"La de blah de be de da Marcarena, HEY MACARENA!".  
  
Remy arched an eyebrow as Pyro walked by, a big crate in his hands, singing at the top of his voice.  
  
"Pyro", he said, "what are you doing?".  
  
Pyro stopped dead, before giving Gambit an inocent 'who, me?' smile.  
  
"....Nothing".  
  
"What's in de crate?", asked Gambit, pointing at the crate, which Pyro blinked at.  
  
"Errr.....cheese?", he tried.  
  
"Cheese?".  
  
Pyro sighed.  
  
"Okay, it's beer", he said, "we're gonna have a party!".  
  
"When was dis planned?".  
  
"About quarter of an hour ago", admited Pyro, "oh come on, it'll be fun!".  
  
"Gambit not sure.....", said Remy, "Magneto said dat we had to keep dis place in one piece".  
  
"He didn't say anything about a party though, did he?", said Pyro, then hopped up and down like a little child, "oh pleeeeaaaaassseeee?".  
  
Gambit gave a defeated sigh.  
  
"You're only gonna go and do it behind my back anyway...aren't you?".  
  
"Yup".  
  
"Fine...Gambit knew not'ing, Gambit saw not'ing", said Remy.  
  
****  
  
Meanwhile, Ray had manged to run about five feet before X23 pounced on him.  
  
*SNIKT*  
  
"Don't kill, don't kill!!!!", screamed Ray, holding his hands up.  
  
*SNIKT*  
  
"Sorry", said X23 sheepishly, "almost forgot".  
  
Ray let out a nervous laugh.  
  
"Hey...how about we play something a little less...errr violent", he said, "How about hide and seek?"  
  
"Okay", replied X23, "...Errrrrr how do i play that?".  
  
"You close your eyes and i go hide, then you have to try and find me".  
  
"Oh...kinda like tracking!", said X23, closing her eyes.  
  
Ray chuckled to himself and turned around to find a hiding spot, only to find X23 standing in front of him...how fast could she MOVE?!!!  
  
"Found you", said X23.  
  
"No", said Ray with a sigh, "close your eyes AND count to a hundred or something, THEN look for me".  
  
"Oh", said X23, closing her eyes again, "one, two, three".  
  
Ray watched her for a minute before running off.  
  
****  
  
"And this pink gopher will bring us to freedom, to justice, to POWER!".  
  
Todd and Torpid blinked at Jamie, who was currently standing on a soap box, speaking like a world leader. He had a little ceramic pink gopher in his arms, holding it proudly.  
  
"....I think ya takin' this a little too far", he said.  
  
Jamie jumped from his soap-box, pointing a finger at Todd.  
  
"Do you doubt the power of YAMS?!!!", he asked.  
  
"Well, we haven't done ANYTHING", said Todd, "nothin' has changed, we're as ignored as ever. Yesterday, Pietro flushed my favorite dried butterfly down the toilet".  
  
Torpid quirked an eyebrow at him.  
  
"Hey, they taste good!", said Todd defensively, "besides, what i'm sayin' is that YAMS have done nothin' ta stop that".  
  
"You dare deny YAMS?", said Jamie, "then, Brother Toad, you are a brother of YAMS no longer!".  
  
"FINE!", said Todd, "lets see how you do with just TWO members!".  
  
With an indignant snort, he hopped off, leaving Torpid and Jamie alone.  
  
"Hah!", said Jamie, "go ahead and leave. We don't need you, right, Torpid?".  
  
Torpid turned to him and blinked. She then gave a smile and hugged him.  
  
"Yeah.....right", said Jamie, trying to shake her off.  
  
*****  
  
"Target is in sight", said Tabby, from where she hid behind a potted plant, "you see him yet Robbie?"  
  
"......Tabby, i'm standing right next to you", replied Roberto, rolling his eyes.  
  
"Oh phhhft, where's your sense of adventure?", said Tabby, watching as Sam walked by, looking more than slightly cautious, "DIVE DIVE DIVE!".  
  
She lept out of her hiding place, making a wild leap for the Southern boy. Sam gave a squeak of terror and cannonballed away...smashing through the entrance to the mansion as he did so.  
  
"Oh", said Tabby as a piece of glass fell down from the smashed doorway, "i...didn't see that one coming".  
  
"Come on, lets get him!", said Roberto, running off after Sam.  
  
Outside, Ray chuckled from his hiding place. She'd NEVER find him behind this well, nope, never.  
  
"I found you".  
  
....Damn. Ray looked up to see X23 smiling at him.  
  
"I could smell you from MILES around", she said, "that was easy".  
  
"That was technically cheating", replied Ray.  
  
"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!!!".  
  
Both mutants looked up to see Sam cannonball past them, Roberto and Tabby in hot persuit, waving an eye drop bottle around.  
  
"People here are weird", said X23 once they'd past, "so...what should we play now?"  
  
****  
  
There, another chapter down and done. Do reiview. Until next time... 


	11. Bubbles, Bubbles Everywhere

While the Adults are Away  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "Some men just can't hold their Arsenic".  
  
****  
  
*Sighs* I so wish i could watch the Dani Moonstar episode. What IS it with Evo and sending their Cheyenne mutants into other dimensions/hibernation/whatever for years at a time? 0_o  
  
***  
  
Chapter 11 - Bubbles, bubbles everywhere  
  
*****  
  
A few hours later and the Common Room had been decked out with paper cups, balloons and confetti.  
  
"....What is the point of all of this?", asked X23, gesturing to all the balloons and party objects.  
  
"It's for a party", replied Ray.  
  
"Pa-rt-ie?", said X23, blinking.  
  
"YEAH!", said Kitty, boucning over, "a party, you know, music, dancing, games....fun?"  
  
X23 blinked.  
  
"Okay", said Kitty, "girl, you need to be taught how to be a teenager before it's too late".  
  
With that, Kitty flung her arm over her 'fledgling' and dragged her off to mingle...or rather teach her how to mingle. X23 stole one, last 'for the love of all things holy, help me' looks at Ray before disapearing.  
  
"....Awwwww", said Ray quietly, then noticed Roberto blinking at him, "i mean, YEY, she's gone".  
  
"Uh...huh", said Roberto, shaking his head and walking off.  
  
****  
  
A little while later, Ray looked at the clock, the party was in full swing, beer being drunk, people falling over, Sam screaming at the state of Ororo's attic....Torpid was hanging onto Jamie's leg while he tried to escape from her while Remy had made himself a pyramid of empty beer cans, Scott watching moodily, HE was staying responsible!  
  
"X23 and Kitty have been gone a long time", Ray said to no-one in particular.  
  
"Oooooooh", said Bobby from where he was making a few ice-sculptures, "i think someone has a crush on someone else".  
  
"I don't have a crush on Kitty", said Ray, "Jamie does, but not me".  
  
"I wasn't talking about Kitty", said Bobby pointedly, "you like physco- chick".  
  
"HEY!, don't call her that!", said Ray, then blinked, "...whoah....how did i not see this one?".  
  
"Because you're an idiot", said Bobby with a chuckle as Kurt 'ported in.  
  
"Hey, look vhat i found in the back of Forge's truck!", said Kurt, holding up a small box, "eet's a bubble machine!".  
  
"A.....whatnow?", asked Bobby.  
  
"A machine that makes bubbles!", said Kurt, "apparently they vere big in the days of yore".  
  
"....A'h don't think the seventies can be called 'yore'", pointed out Rogue.  
  
"Yesteryear then", said Kurt.  
  
"....Why would Forge have a bubble machine in his pick-up truck?", asked Jean, "and don't you think he's gonna be mad at you for stealing all his stuff. Need we remind you of the 'whoopsie'?".  
  
"I'm sure he has his reasons", said Kurt, then smirked, "i can borrow anything i vant, one of the advantages for saving him from a pocket dimension. And the Whoopsie vas for a good cause!"  
  
"Kurt, half the botanical population of Bayville is now dead", said Scott, "how can that be a good cause?"  
  
"I saved the vorld man, saved the vorld", said Kurt, "and this ees the thanks i get?".  
  
With that, he switched on the bubble machine.....and thus 'Whoopsie number two' was born. The machine started to make manical beeping sounds and started to shake, causing everyone to back off a good few feet from it. Piotr spoke for everyone.  
  
".....I do not think that is a bubble machine".  
  
The machine started to shake more violently, before a HUGE, florescent blue bubble started to form. It grew and grew, starting to take over the room.  
  
"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!", screamed Remy, "save the beers! Women and Cajuns first!".  
  
Just when it seemed like the bubble was going to fill the entire room...it stopped, everyone giving a sigh of relief. That was, until Evan walked into the room.  
  
"Okay, Torpid, time to go home", he said as he walked past the bubble, one of his spikes brushing against it.  
  
BOOOM!  
  
The entire mansion rocked with the explosion, throwing everyone to the floor. Once the dust had cleared, Rogue coughed back some smoke.  
  
"Well.....the damage isn't THAT bad", she said.  
  
....She should have touched wood.  
  
******  
  
".....Maybe the Professor won't notice".  
  
The assembled X-Men and Acolytes stared at the mansion from outside. It now tilted at a right angle...making it look like a Ripley's Believe it or Not museum.  
  
"No..no i'm sure he won't", said Scott.  
  
"Really?", said Kurt hopefully.  
  
"NO!!!. Kurt, our home is LEANING!!!", snapped Scott, throwing his arms into the air.  
  
"Okay, i'm sorry!", snapped Kurt, "I didn't kow that the bubble machine was really a BOMB! Vhat sort of idiot disguises a bomb as a bubble machine?"  
  
"What kind of idiot falls for it?", asked Amara dryly.  
  
"Hey!".  
  
"What was the big explosion?!", said Kitty, running out of the house, "there i was, teaching X23 the finer points of make-up and...oh look at the house".  
  
"Yes", said Scott, "look at the house, Kurt, LOOK AT THE HOUSE!!!".  
  
"I said i vas sorry, geez!", snapped Kurt, flicking his tail in anoyance.  
  
"And what is the lesson we have learned today children?", said Jean.  
  
"Never EVER touch anything that has been vithin a twenty mile radius of Forge ever, ever again?", tried Kurt with a sheepish grin.  
  
"I wonder how many accidents it's gonna take before we actually remember not to do that", mused Sam.  
  
"Oh forget about the house!", said Pyro, tapping his foot, "it's still standing and the night is still young, we're here to party, so lets party!!!!".  
  
With that, the students headed back into the now lopsided mansion. X23 peeked out from around a pillar.  
  
"Phasing girl...i don't like this", she squeaked, "can i change back now?"  
  
"But i'm not down beautifying you yet", said Kitty, "gotta get rid of that bizare evil 'i'm a phsyco' look".  
  
With that, she ushered X23 away again...the dangerous killer giving a small whimper.  
  
*****  
  
And there is another chapter done. Wow, X23 is fun to work with, yes, yes she is. Do review. Until nect time... 


	12. Brotherly Love

While the Adults are Away  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "I have short-term memory loss. It runs in my family...or at least i THINK it does...come to think of it....where IS my family?"  
  
****  
  
Oh dear lord, someone else has been added to the mix...if you can't tell by the title....welll he's from Hawaii....how many brothers do we know from Hawaii (who i believe donned a Sea Turtle costume for the movie 'Finding Nemo') it's none other than Alex!  
  
***  
  
Chapter 12 - Brotherly Love  
  
****  
  
"Spin, spin, spin, spin, spin!"  
  
Pyro laughed manically as he spun the small computer chair around and around, Jamie tied to it, his eyes screwed shut.  
  
"I'm gonna huuuuuuuuurrrrl", he warned.  
  
"ALLERDYCE!".  
  
As Scott yelled at him, Pyro jumped, pushing the chair away from him. Momentum carried Jamie and the chair, still spinning, into an opposite wall, resulting in a dog-pile of dazed, and rather ill-looking Jamies.  
  
"What?", said Pyro inocently, "i wasn't doing anything".  
  
"You were trying to kill Jamie!", said Scott, pointing at the pile of Jamie's.  
  
"Oh stop being such a sitck in de mud", said Remy from where he was teaching Roberto how to cheat at poker.  
  
"I am NOT a stick in the mud!", said Scott, "i'm just responsible. Tell them, Jean!".  
  
Jean cleared her throat.  
  
"Well...err...".  
  
Scott was frankly betrayed.  
  
"I'm not a stick in the mud, i'm not!!!", he said, "i just have a healthy respect for the rules. Rules are fun, rules are good".  
  
"Rules are boring", intoned Pyro, "man, if you're THIS bad, i'd hate to see the rest of the Summers gene pool".  
  
"I'll have you know that the rest of us are just as repsonsible.....well the other one of us", admited Scott.  
  
"Alllooooo-haaaaa!".  
  
....As if on cue, the front door opened and Alex staggered in, laden with suitcases.  
  
"Alex?", said Scott, blinking, "what are you doing here?....are those suitcases".  
  
He gave a happy squeak.  
  
"YOU'VE COME TO LIVE WITH US!!!", he cheered, pulling Alex into a bear hug.  
  
Alex gasped for breath before struggling out of his brothers reach.  
  
"No, i'm not", he said pointedly, "i'm just here while they fix my house. I had a little.....errrr accident and blew up half of it. Mom and Dad are staying with Aunt Gerald, but she has this little yappy dog that's got a nervous disposition...so she wouldn't let me in the house".  
  
"Oh", said Scott, slightly deflated, "awww".  
  
"You have an Aunt Gerald?", piped up Jamie  
  
"Yeah, that's the thing to focus on", said Roberto, rolling his eyes, "she should meet my aunt  
  
Alex glanced around at the party decorations and grinned.  
  
"Tubular, a Luou!", he said, "bring on the beers and women!".  
  
Remy blinked, looking at Scott.  
  
"Dis irrisponsible, beach-bum, party-animal is YOUR brother?"  
  
"...Yes", replied Scott.  
  
Remy considered this.  
  
"Wow....Gambit met de wrong brother first", he said as Alex went dancing off.  
  
"Alex, what about your suitcases?!!!", said Scott.  
  
"Oh just put them in a guest room, dude, thanks", replied Alex, waving off Scott before going back to partying.  
  
Scott looked at the suitcases and sighed, picking them up. Great, just great.  
  
*****  
  
Meanwhile, Bobby was having the BEST time making a fountain of ice in the middle of the common room. His plan was to pump all the punch through it, then lure the ladies over to him and his wonderfull offering, proving his worth as a man.  
  
"It's never going to work", said Sam.  
  
Bobby gave an indignant snort.  
  
"This is a great idea, i ALWAYS have great ideas!"  
  
Sam blinked his single eye.  
  
"Even that time when you decided to try and sell your liver on EBay?".  
  
"Hey, i could have had sone top-notch bidding on that!", defended Bobby, "i was THIS close to being able to afford that Mustang"  
  
"Yes.....we're lucky that Mr McCoy pointed out that your liver is a SLIGHTLY vital organ...aren't we?"  
  
"Well, i didn't know!", said Bobby, "i've never been that good with Geology"  
  
"Biology", said Sam.  
  
"Potato, potato", said Bobby with a shrug, "pass me the punch bowl"  
  
Meanwhile, Tabitha and Rogue had been cornered by Alex, who was delighting himself by telling them of his surfing advntures, chicks DUG that...right?  
  
"And then i was on this totally tubular wave, and i totally rocked the pipeline!".  
  
Both girls smiled and nodded at Alex, trying to see interested. Alex smiled and wandered off, heading to find out where the punchbowl had gone.  
  
"Did you understand a WORD he said?", asked Rogue.  
  
"I'm SURE he was trying to comunicate with us", said Tabby, "i'm.....just not exactly sure HOW yet".  
  
"If comes back, a'hll zap him and we run like crazy", said Rogue.  
  
"Yes...but then YOU'LL talk like him", pointed out Tabby.  
  
"Damn", said Rogue, "okay, blow him up instead....or blackmail him with those pictures of Scott we took when Jean got him into a dress"  
  
"Of course, you're a genius!", said Tabby, "what younger sibling could resist the temptation of blackmailing their older brother or sister?"  
  
There was a small cough, interupting all ativity. Kitty was standing on top of the stairs, grinning proudly.  
  
"Presenting, the wonderfull, newly designed, X23!"  
  
X23 stepped out in a strappy-top and skirt. Her hair had been put up in a bun and Kitty and Amara had dabbed her with lipstick. Every guy in the room, including those already with girlfriends, smiled. X23, however, was less than impressed.  
  
"I look like princess bubbleyarn".  
  
"Pretty girl", said Ray with a sigh, then blinked, "i mean...torture..how cruel!"  
  
"You know...for a phsycopathic killer with Logan's DNA....she cleans up pretty good", mused Kurt.  
  
"You're all going to DIE", said X23 darkly...obviously the effects from the weedoll were begining to wear off......there would be pain for someone that night, oh yes there would.  
  
"Hey, guys", piped up Amara, shaking an empty beer can upside down, "We need more alchohol and beers".  
  
****  
  
Yey, another chapter done and dusted. Do review, until next time.... 


	13. Havok Has A Dream

While the Adults are away  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "You deserve the services of a great wizard, but i'm afraid you'll have to be glad of the aid of a second-rate pickpocket".  
  
***  
  
I'm not sure how this chapter happened...i don't think i want to know. Incidentaly, for those of you who don't know X-Factor, it was a comic series, led by Havok...well not only by Havok, but he was a leader...until he went a little bit ga ga...i'll shut up now. Those of you who ARE comic buffs, like myself (and darn proud of it) pick up the little nods to the series in this chappie, tee hee. ;)  
  
***  
  
Chapter 13 - Havok has a dream  
  
***  
  
A little while later, the party was starting to lose it's magical glow. All of Logan's precious Candian beer had been drunk, and a priceless Dynasty Ming vase had been 'accidentally' smashed...the culprit not yet found, but considering that a playing card was found nearby, fingers pointed to a certain Cajun. Scott had given up the fight to keep the party slightly normal hours ago, and had run off to his room, locking himself in and refusing to come out for anyone....not even Jean. X23 had taken to sulking in a corner. Alex, on his round of shmoosing, walked up to her with a big grin.  
  
"Hi there!", he said, "is this a totally tubular party or what?"  
  
X23 gave him a look that would have disintergrated him if she had the power to do so. Alex, however, was completely oblivious to this and leant on the wall, smiling at her.  
  
"Sooooo, i haven't see you around here before, babe", said Alex giving her a wink, "what's your story?"  
  
"I was created in a lab from Wolverines DNA", said X23 darkly, "i was moulded from birth to become the ultimate weapon, removed from all forms of love and compassion"  
  
Alex blinked.  
  
"Ok...i don't know how to talk to you", he said, backing away, right into Ray, who gave him a GLARE before walking into the kitchen.  
  
"What is WITH everyone today?", said Alex, "seesh, you guys have really started slipping in you're recruitment approaches, its a wonder anyone wants to stay in this depressing place. Everyone's just nasty to you"  
  
He glanced around, no one had paid him a hint of interest.  
  
"Well, fine, i'll just go work for Magneto then".  
  
THAT brought some attention to him.  
  
"NOOOOO!", cried Piotr, putting his hand on his head, shaking it and starting to cry.  
  
Pyro patted him on the shoulder.  
  
"There, there, Peety", he said, "he didn't mean it, he wouldn't really come and live with us"  
  
"Yes i would", said Alex, crossing his arms.  
  
"NO, you WOULDN'T", said Remy, "awww, look you've made Piotr cry"  
  
"I don't want him there", sniffled Piotr, "he talks funny and he'll make us *sniff* watch the..."  
  
His voice went extremely squeaky and he started to cry again.  
  
"That was 'surfing channel'", said Pyro for the rest of the group, patting Piotr on the back.  
  
"Huh", said Alex, "well, i'm too pretty to go to the Morlocks, so i'll start my OWN group! We'll work undercover, pretending to work for the government when we're really helping mutants in distress. We shall be called...."  
  
He paused for effect.  
  
"X-Factor!"  
  
He was greeted by a round of blank looks.  
  
"Dat is the stupidest idea dat Gambit has ever heard", said Remy  
  
"It'd NEVER work", agreed Rogue, "man, Havok, you've had too much punch"  
  
"But...but", stammered Alex, "it'd be REALLY cool! I can call in that Wolf- Girl from Scotland, and..and..i could have a hot chick. A HOT CHICK!"  
  
"Yeah, right", snorted Bobby, "and Sabertooth and Mystique will fight with you for the better good, all reformed"  
  
"....It could happen", said Alex, sullenly, "Jamie, you can join"  
  
Jamie blinked at him.  
  
"I'm already the leader of YAMS", he said pointedly, "why would i want to join YOUR imaginary little fantasy group?...I'd probably end up dead anyway"  
  
"No you wouldn't!", said Alex, "oh and i can have a wild beast-dude like Logan, 'cause every group needs a wild beast-dude, and i can get Forge to join and make little lazers that go pihsso, pihsoo!"  
  
"Next you'll be telling me that you'll have a hologram team-mate from the future", teased Kitty.  
  
"Yeah!", said Havok, "and that hologram will also be a hot chick. And all the hot chicks will dance around me and call me their king"  
  
There was another round of dead silence, before the room errupted in laughter. Havok narrowed his eyes.  
  
"Oh, go on, everybody laugh and shatter my dreams!", said Havok, "it's okay for big brother Scott to lead a team, but can little brother Alex? Nooooooo!"  
  
"Alex", said Jean sweetly, putting her hand on his shoulder, "i hate to be the one to tell you this but....you have the leadership skills of a Rasin"  
  
Alex watched her for a while, before giving a small, sad sigh.  
  
"Fine....now you've sucessfully bummed me out, i'm going to go upstairs and brood".  
  
With that, he stormed off upstairs.  
  
"Yey, he's gone!", cheered Pyro.  
  
"I thought he'd NEVER leave", said X23.  
  
"X-Factor", scoffed Kurt, "have you ever heard of anything so stupid in all your life?"  
  
"It'll never take off", said Rogue, "it'll stay a silly little dream, like YAMS"  
  
"HEY!", said Jamie, "YAMS is just fine!"  
  
"Jamie, you have TWO members", said Bobby, "you can't have a group with just TWO members"  
  
"Oh", said Pyro, "i KNEW there was something i'd forgotten....oh well"  
  
*****  
  
After the party had offically died and everyone had gone to bed, Scott had taken it upon himself to sneak out of his room and clean up the mess behind, one armed and all. In the morning, Pyro would marvel at the wonders of 'the after-party clean-up Elves', and spend the rest of the day trying to find their nest. But for now, Scott didn't care. HIS home was messy and HE was going to clean it up. Then he'd have something to fall back on when Xavier freaked out over all the mess. He still wasn't EXACTLY sure how he would clean up Storm's attic, he had decided it might be best to leave it as it was and hope Storm would blame Sam for neglecting her plants....uh oh, speaking of Sam, did he take his eye drops that night? He walked over to the small chart he had made (much to the whining of the others) stating exactly when Sam had been given his medication. It was marked off for today indeed....in Sam's handwriting.  
  
"Nice try, Guthrie", said Scott, sighing and picking up the eye-drop bottle.  
  
He would get the Southerner while he slept. It was a decision he would live to regret. He got as far as prying Sam's eye open when he woke up, panicked and reflexively cannonballed. Unfortunately, Scott couldn't get out of the way in time and was canonballed through three walls before hitting an outside wall and falling onto the fountain in the dirveway, then onto the floor. This resulted in an trip to the emergency room, Scott returning in a full body cast, having to be wheeled around on a trolley to get anywhere.  
  
"I hate you", he said to Sam darkly.  
  
"Hey, it's your own fault!", said Sam, "what kinda idiot comes sneakin' around people's rooms in the middle of the night, openin' their eyes?"  
  
"Sam, i would like to hurt you, SOOO badly", said Scott, "unfortunately, the only bone in my body that is NOT broken is my thumb"  
  
He wiggled his thumb, the only piece of skin showing through his cast, apart from his face, to prove a point.  
  
CRACK.  
  
"Owwwwww!", screamed Scott.  
  
"Oh...looks like you broke that one too", said Jean, "back to the emergency room"  
  
****  
  
Another chapter done and dusted, oh what fun this is. Did you get all the X- Factor in-jokes? Did'ya, did'ya? Oh the last piece with Scott breaking his thumb was shamelessly stolen from the Simpsons Do review, until next time... 


	14. Go greased lightning

While the Adults are Away  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "I promised myself i wouldn't pretend to cry"  
  
***  
  
Anything but ordinary3 - Have you got either ITV2 or Toonami? (Both on Sky, not sure if they are on anything else). Because you can catch the X23 episode on GMVT2 on ITV2, whenever they get around to showing it again. Dang, i wish they'd hurry up and give us season 4.  
  
***  
  
Chapter 14 - Go greased lightning  
  
****  
  
Ahhh morning, such a blessed day. The sun shone brightly, everyone had hangovers...Scott was screaming. Sam had been made his offical 'trolley pusher' unfortunately, when the time for Sam's eye drops to be administered had arrived, Sam had made a break for it, leaving Scott alone...well, he HAD turned him to face a window. Which was when Scott had noticed something was missing.  
  
"What happened to Samantha?!"  
  
Everyone blinked at him. Scott sighed and tried to wiggle his cast-up body to point outside.  
  
".....What are we looking at?", asked Jean, squinting.  
  
"My car", replied Scott dryly.  
  
"But...it's not there", said Kurt.  
  
"EXACTLY!!!!", said Scott, "who took her, WHO TOOK HER?!!!!!"  
  
"Hey....Remy is being missing too", said Piotr.  
  
"ZIPPY!!!!!".  
  
Everyone blinked as Pyro's anguished scream ran through the house.  
  
"And Pyro's lighter..apparently", added Piotr, "oh, i am betting they all went missing together"  
  
"You don't say!!!!", said Scott venomously, "that thieveing Cajun has taken away MY car!!!!".  
  
"Forget your car!!!!", whimpered Pyro, walking over, "i want Zippy back....oh man, i can't make fire!!! I'm going into withdrawl symptoms. Is my eye twitching?...i think it's twitching"  
  
With that, he twitched his eye, adding in a 'cichk' sound for good measure.  
  
"Pyro, you've only JUST realised that your lighter's missing", said Jean, "you can't possibly be suffering from withdrawl symptoms yet".  
  
Pyro collpased on the floor and curled into a little ball, rocking.  
  
"Burny, burny...no fire....no fire", he chanted, "no fire make Pyro go crazy, crazy fire no Pyro make"  
  
Everyone took a GOOD step away from him....yes, he was certainally more crazy than usual...but at least he was quiet.  
  
"ZIPPPPYYYYYYYYYYY!!!"  
  
....Or not.  
  
"Colossus, get him under control!", said Scott.  
  
"No!", said Piotr, "i am not being responsible for him, so there. Besides, Kitty wanted me for doing something"  
  
With that, the giant Russian left, leaving the others to deal with a now manic-depressive Pyro.  
  
"Pyro, you know you DO have other lighters", said Scott moodily, "remember that little 'shopping trip'?"  
  
BAD move, Scott. Pyro suddenly gave a VERY big grin and ran off to find them.  
  
"Hey, anyone want to play a game of foosball with me?", asked Bobby as he walked into the room, "i won't freeze the other players handles this time, i promise"  
  
"I'll play", said Scott, despite the fact he couldn't actually move a single body part.  
  
"Anyone at all?", said Bobby, looking around, obviously ignoring Scott.  
  
"I'll play", said Alex, from where he was coming downstairs.  
  
"COOL!", said Bobby, walking off to the game room with Alex, Kurt and Jean following to 'wtach'...leaving a very bewildered Scott.  
  
"Well FINE, be like that. SEE IF I CARE!!!!", he shouted, then blinked, "great...now i'm talking to myself"  
  
****  
  
Piotr had finally found Kitty in the garage, she had a chauffer's hat on and looked quite excited. Piotr should have known something was wrong and run for his life...unfortunately, he did not.  
  
"You were wanting my help, Kitty?"  
  
Kitty turned and smiled at him.  
  
"Yep, i'm going on a driving lesson, let me just pick a vehicle", she glanced around, Scott's car was gone, the Adults had the X-Van and Jean's SUV had mysteriously vanished..and there was no WAY she was going to drive the Professor's Bentley.  
  
She eyed Piotr's motorcycle. Piotr blinked, sudden dread hitting him in the stomach.  
  
"No!"  
  
Kitty sighed, her eyes floating onto the only other vehicle on the estate, Forge's pick-up truck.  
  
"Groovy", said said with an evil grin.  
  
"You are honestly going to be driving a physcadelic painted pick-up truck in PUBLIC?", asked Piotr, blinking.  
  
"Yep, and as the only eighteen-pluser in the house, that's neither wounded, hiding or insane, you're going with me!".  
  
Piotr blinked, why hadn't he seen that one coming? WHY?!!!!  
  
"Errr...maybe you would prefer to be going with Jean?", he asked with a nervous chuckle.  
  
"I HATE Jean as a driving partner!", said Kitty, "she always starts screaming"  
  
"=I wonder why=", Piotr muttered to himself in Russian.  
  
"Didn't catch that", said Kitty as she climbed into the front seat of the truck.  
  
"Nothing", replied Piotr, giving a sad sigh and climbing in next to her.  
  
Unfortunately, Forge had obviously not planned to ever have anyone above six and a half feet tall in his van, and so Piotr had to sit hunched up...This meant he would have no seat belt......and that terrified him beyond all rational means. If he went into metal form now...he would weigh down the truck, so he had to stay in flesh form, feeling VERY scared and vunerable. Kitty grinned, adjusting the rear view mirror, which had a miniature disco-ball hanging from it. She looked at the ignition, and paused. Piotr almost laughed with joy, she didn't have the keys, SHE DIDN'T HAVE THE KEYS!!!. It was then she reached into her pocket, producing a set of keys, Piotr sighed, she had the keys. Where she got them, he didn't want to know. Kitty jammed the key into the ignition, starting up the truck, and the radio..which began playing 'Living Next Door to Alice' at full blast.  
  
"TURN IT OFF, TURN IT OFF!!!", screamed Kitty.  
  
"I do not know how!!!", shouted Piotr.  
  
"'I don't why she's leavin' or the way she's gonna go, i guess she's got her reasons but i just don't wanna know...."  
  
Unable to take any more of the 70's tune, Piotr grabbed the radio and pulled it roughly out of it's place....taking the bottom half of the dashboard with it.  
  
"Oooops?", he said.  
  
"Oh well, Forge can fix it", said Kitty with a shrug, "he likes fixing things".  
  
Piotr nodded, dumping the chunk of dashboard into the bed of the truck before squeasing back in, Kitty driving them off to their doom.  
  
****  
  
"Scott, we don't favour Alex over you!", said Jean patiently, Scott had been a mood since the 'foosball incident', "It's just Alex is more....laid back"  
  
"LAID BACK?", said Scott, "you want laid back?. I can do laid back. See, this is me, being laid back!!"  
  
Scott did nothing.  
  
"Scott, Honey", said Jean carefully, "you're just standing still, and that's all you can do. You know, being in a cast and all"  
  
"For your imformation", said Scott icily, "i was standing still with my eyes closed"  
  
"Oh...well, i wouldn't know that", said Jean.  
  
There was a long silence.  
  
"It's because he's blonde, isn't it?"  
  
Before Jean could answer, Piotr stumbled towards them, looking very ill.  
  
"Never ever again!", he said, "neint!"  
  
With that, he collapsed on the floor, Kitty walking over him seconds later.  
  
"Oh don't be such a wuss", she said, "we only hit a FEW brick walls! The truck still has one tyre....and a roof, it still has a roof".  
  
"What happened?", asked Jean blinking.  
  
"I went driving in Forge's truck", said Kitty, "but wussy boy here panicked and made me drive into a ravine. I phased us through the big rocks but......Forge DOES have insurance, doesn't he?"  
  
"I don't think so", said Jean, "the whole time-displacement thing doesn't sit well with the DMV".  
  
"Oh", said Kitty, before shrugging and walking off, "oh well"  
  
Piotr gave a whimper from the floor.  
  
"Please, don't ever be making me do that again", he said, "i will be doning ANYTHING to never drive with 'Little Miss Roadrage' again".  
  
"It's okay Piotr", said Jean, patting him on the head, "she's run out of cars, and she'll NEVER find my SUV".  
  
****  
  
For those of you who read Teacher Training, you will know EXACTLY where Remy went with 'Samantha'. Like all the vehicles that i 'name' this one is named after a member of my family, my cousin, to be exact. Do review..until next time... 


	15. D Day is upon us

While the adults are away  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "Citric acid is not a toy"  
  
***  
  
Anything but ordinary3 - The Toad the Witch and the Wardobe is before X23, after TWW, there's Under Lock and Key, Cruise Control, X23 and the two part finalie. It's on GMTV2 on Monday-Friday at around 8:30 - 8:50am, though it might be a bit earlier now. Glad to have helped ;)  
  
We are nearing the end of our little story now, in fact, the next chapter will be the last *sniffle*.  
  
***  
  
Chapter 15 - D day is upon us  
  
****  
  
Later on that night, Rogue was wandering the lower level halls when she heard a manical giggle. Such a giggle could only belong to one person...  
  
"Pyro, what are you doing?"  
  
Pyro poked his head around the hanger door and beckoned her excitedly over, like a kid that had just found something gross and dangerous.  
  
"I found the after-party-clean-up-elves' nest!", he squealed, bouncing from foot to foot.  
  
Rogue knew she shouldn't take him on. She should turn away, live a long life. Unfortunately, curiosity won the day.  
  
"Okay, a'hll bite", she said, "where is it?"  
  
Pyro pointed to the large gasolene tank used to power the Velocity. Rogue blinked twice.  
  
"Pyro....a'h really don't think they would be in there".  
  
"Don't be a Galah", he said, "i can hear them sloshing around in there"  
  
With that, he pressed his ear to the tank and giggled, rubbing his hands over the tank as if it were an egg.  
  
"Pyro hears you, my pretties", he said, "now HOW to get them out..."  
  
"Oh dear lord..", said Rogue, she knew what was coming next...  
  
"I know, i'll BURN them out!", said Pyro.  
  
"...Why am a'h not shocked?", said Rogue with a sigh, walking off, "a'hll call the fire department in advance..."  
  
*****  
  
Meanwhile, Remy had returned from his 'gambling trip', only to walk into a full cast up Scott.  
  
"What happened to YOU Mon Ami?", he said with a chuckle.  
  
"Where the heck have you been?", yelled Scott, "with MY car?!!!"  
  
"Gambit went to de casino to get more money", said Remy, "but Gambit....he run into de adults".  
  
"Oh NO!", said Scott, "was the professor mad? Was he MAD?!!!!"  
  
"Chill out and relax, Mon Ami", said Remy, "dere's not'ing to worry about".  
  
"What do you mean 'there's nothing to worry about'?", screamed Scott, "the adults are home tomorrow and the place is a WREAK! We have NO money to fix it. Tell me, PLEASE, what is there to relax about, HUH?!!".  
  
Remy grinned at Scott's outburst.  
  
"'Cause Gambit's got Magneto's credit card".  
  
He patted his pocket surely before suddenly going very pale. He patted down all his pockets before starting to empty them, littering bo-staff parts, playing cards and lock picks onto the table in front of him. He rummaged through the pile before taking a deep breath and closing his eyes.  
  
"Remy...", said Scott carefully, "please don't tell me you lost Magneto's credit card, our only source of income and only hope of returning the mansion to normal".  
  
"Okay....Gambit won't tell you"  
  
"BURN BABY BURN!!!"  
  
Scott blinked at that sound.  
  
"What was that?"  
  
"You remember all those novelty lighters Pyro bought on that shopping trip?", said Rogue, running up, breathless.  
  
"He found them?", said Remy.  
  
"Yep...and he decided to set them all off at once", said Rogue, "he's going to blow up the 'after-party-clean-up-elves' nest".  
  
"Oh?", said Scott.  
  
"It's that really big tank of gasolene we use to fuel the Velocity".  
  
"....Oh".  
  
FWOOOOOOMMMMFFFF! KAAAAABOOOOOM!  
  
******  
  
"...Oh the plus side, we now have a STUNNING view of the west garden", said Kitty.  
  
"That is because the entire side of the house was BURNED AWAY!!!", screamed Scott, who had been wheeled outside.  
  
Indeed, the West wall of the house was now a smouldering heap. Amara, Tabby and Jean's room had been taken out, as had the kitchen and half the hangar. The other mutants were bustling around, trying to tidy up the mess....yep, the adults just MIGHT notice this one...  
  
"Well...Gambit's moving to Bermuda", said Remy, clapping his hands together, "anyone want to come with?"  
  
"I do, i do!", said Kurt, raising a hand.  
  
"NO ONE is moving to Bermuda!", snapped Scott, "we are all staying here!!!!...except Alex, who went home"  
  
"And me", growled X23 as she passed, "you guys take destruction to a whole new level. And they say I'M dangerous"  
  
"You're not going to stay?", said Ray, giving a small whimper, before clearing his throat, "and help...yeah..huh, i don't care"  
  
"We are being needing your help", said Piotr.  
  
"You couldn't make me stay if you PAID me", hissed X23, pointing at the members of the X-Men and Acolytes, "A plauge on both your houses!!!!!".  
  
With that, she left, walking past Roberto, who had all of Pyro's novelty lighters in his arms. Pyro was clinging to his leg, screaming for mercy as Roberto carried on, unhindered, despite it being evening and not having a lick of sunlight to go on.  
  
"Please NOOOOOO!", sobbed the Austrailian, "i won't make fun of your accent anymore...you can make fun of MINE!!".  
  
Roberto rolled his eyes.  
  
"This isn't about you making fun of my accent"  
  
"Is it about the Elvis tattoo?", tried Pyro, still sniffling, "i was only pulling your leg, you know, Elvis really is cool"  
  
"Not about the tattoo either", said Roberto, "but thanks for bringing THAT one up"  
  
"Your secret marriage to Kitty?", said Pyro, "i didn't tell anyone, i SWEAR!! Okay, i may have told Alex...and X23...and that pizza delivery guy..but one one else!!!!"  
  
Anyone who did NOT know about the 'accident' in Vegas all shot their heads up.  
  
"WHAT?!!!!".  
  
"That was one of those times i should have used my 'quiet voice'..isn't it?", said Pyro sheepishly.  
  
"Yes...yes it was", said Roberto dryly, kicking Pyro off his leg and advancing to a sewer drain with the lighters.  
  
"Please NOOOOO!", said Pyro, "i'll do ANYTHING!!!".  
  
"Scott told me to do it", said Roberto, then added with a smirk, "but now...i think i'm going to enjoy this".  
  
With that, he unceremoniously dumped all the lighters down the drain.  
  
"MY BABIES!!!", screamed Pyro, diving to the floor and trying to claw them out of the drain.  
  
Roberto gave a slightly evil chuckle, before walking away, leaving Pyro a broken teen.  
  
***  
  
Oh man, in the next and final chapters, the adults return....poor adults, or ARE they? Do review. Until next time.... 


	16. The adults return home

While the adults are Away  
  
By Todd Fan  
  
Disclaimer: "If you're not at ease with your knobbly knees and your fingers are all thumbs, stand on your two left feet and join your Raggy Doll Chums"  
  
**  
  
Wow, this is it.....the last chapter of thie INSANE story. Incidentally, if you read this and the final chapter of Teacher Training together...it's like you get two POV's....freaky 0_o.  
  
***  
  
Chapter 16 - The adults return home  
  
***  
  
The teens had worked all through the night, attempting to get the mansion back to some form of normalcy. Scott had managed to convince Xaviers 'special' construction team to make an emergency vist to fix the wall....which granted they did in record time. They had to tell the company to 'put it on the Professor's tab'...Jean really hoped Xavier wouldn't notice a rather large hole in his savings...but at least it was better than him noticing a rather large hole in his house. Pyro had not got over the death of his lighters and refused point blank to even note Roberto's existance.  
  
"They're here!", said Jamie from where he was playing lookout.  
  
"Okay, remember, everybody smile!", said Scott, "nothing bizare happened, everything went well. Happy faces, everyone!"  
  
With that, every teen, bar Pyro put on a rediculously big grin as they walked/were wheeled outside as the X-Van pulled up.  
  
".....Is that a tiger sitting on Sabertooth's knee?", asked Ray through gritted teeth.  
  
"....If you see one too, then yes", replied Rogue.  
  
"Welcome back!", said Jean, making herself sound as cheerfull as possible, "did you all have a good time?".  
  
"It was a living hell", said Logan, climbing out of the van and stalking into the house, "i need to get drunk!".  
  
"Uh oh", said Kitty quietly.  
  
"Shhh", hissed Scott.  
  
The Acolytes came out next, indeed followed by a tiger...where they had gotten it, no one wanted to know. Remy gave a HUGE grin to his leader, while Pyro gave a small, sad sigh, he missed his lighters. Piotr gave a small twitch, not yet fully recovered from his driving 'experience'.  
  
"Let's go home", said Magneto, before whispering something to Xavier.  
  
He flicked out his hand, and out came his metal orbs from the bushes, Jamie having to stop himself from giving a nervous giggle when he noticed the pink gophers were still drawn on them. Without another word, Magneto PUSHED his team, plus the tiger, into their orbs, closed them and flew off. Warren was next out of the van, looking quite depressed.  
  
"I'm going home to count my money", he said with a sad sigh, , "hey, maybe i have enough to start a Aligator sanctuary. I'll call it 'Cookie's Cove'. Yeah!".  
  
Kurt blinked.  
  
"Aligators?", he said, "Cookie?"  
  
"Lets NOT ask", said Amara with a wise nod.  
  
Warren took off the the air, muttering more about Aligators.  
  
"I'm going to give Shannon a call", he said, "...not that she's my girlfriend...because she's not"  
  
GIRLFRIEND? Jean blinked.....what HAD happened on that trip? She glanced up as Xavier forbade both Forge and Storm to leave, each ignoring him and heading their own ways.  
  
"So...what did you do while we were away?", asked Xavier, wheeling up..  
  
"Oh...just.....stuff", said Kurt.  
  
"Yeah", said Ray, nodding quickly, "but not bad stuff. No bad stuff happened here".  
  
Meanwhile, in the garage, Forge saw his beloved truck....well it LOOKED like it was ONCE a truck. It had one wheel, was missing a door and almost the entire dashboard was non-existant. Even WORSE, the physcadelic paint job that he had slaved over had been scratched off...all of it. It was as if someone had driven it THROUGH a canyon.  
  
"HEY, WHAT HAPPENED TO MY TRUCK??!!!!".  
  
"Well....except that", said Kitty with a wince from outside, she really hoped fingers wouldn't be pointed to her, if they were...she'd just blame Bobby.  
  
In the mansion's attic, Storm gave a small happy sigh. She needed to get away after the Clint incident, now all she wanted to do was sit in her garden, enjoying her.....dead-life zone? Everything was black, not a SINGLE piece of greenery left..and the place smelled suspicously of industrial strength weed killer. At least her baby was.....she looked over to where her prized 'only flowers every 18 years' plant once stood. It was now nothing but a black piece of sludge with the words 'Die Audrey II, die - Viva la Earth' etched into it....blue fur scattered by it.  
  
"MY PLANTS!!!".  
  
"And that", said Rogue, outside.  
  
Logan hummed happily as he entered the kitchen. His day was already planned, he was going to sit down and drink all of that LOVELY Canadian beer in the..... He opened the fridge to find it empty of all beers.....in fact, empty of alchohol, full stop. He very nearly cried, but instead opted to slash a hole through the wall...wait..did he smell X23?  
  
"WHERE THE HELL IS ALL MY BEER!!!".  
  
Outside, Tabby gave a nervous chuckle.  
  
"Oh..yeah", she said, "forgot about that".  
  
Xavier took a heavy sigh.  
  
"Note to self, never EVER leave my home in the care of teenagers ever ever again".  
  
"But that's all that happened, Professor", said Scott, wincing as a storm very quickly moved in...Ororo musn't be a happy lady.  
  
Lightning hit the house and the west wall, which, being rushed into getting fixed, hadn't had the chance to be done properly, suddenly collapsed. Xavier made a very odd noise that could be described as a 'Pouagch'.  
  
".....Okay, that one too", said Scott, "please don't punish me, i TRIED to be good, i DID. In fact i WAS good, and look what they did to me, i can't MOVE!!!"  
  
"RAT!", snapped Jean.  
  
"I broke under the pressure, so sue me!", snapped Scott, "please don't punish us, Professor, please"  
  
"Oh but this can't go unpunished", said Xavier, then gave an evil smirk, "in fact...i have the perfect punishment for you all"  
  
****  
  
"Come on, you Foxy people don't be Jive Turkeys, dance with Amber. Hehehehehehheheh".  
  
The X-Teens and Acolyte's whimpered as a bubbly woman known only as 'Amber' forced them to dance, disco style, to hits such as 'I Love to Dance', 'Shake your Groove Thing' and 'Kung Foo Fighting'. Scott, not actually being ABLE to dance, had been placed as close to the speakers as possible, so he got an earfull of the music.  
  
"She's like Forge, only female and evil!", whimpered Bobby.  
  
"Ma'h legs are hurting", cried Rogue.  
  
Sam, still having no depth perception, danced into a wall, falling back into Jamie, who created more duplicates, one of which started to dance happily with Amber, sprouting lots of 70's lingo.  
  
"Never knew i had THAT clone", muttered Jamie.  
  
The adults were happily watching this from by the window. Sure, it didn't replace lost plants, trucks, walls, beers or dignity...but it was getting close. Logan turned his head as he heard a tapping on the window. He glanced around to see Gelder pressed against it.  
  
"Logan, i can't forget our night together, i NEED you!!"  
  
Logan whisted inocently and pulled down the blind.  
  
"Hey, Hank, think ya can set off the security fer outside? We have an intruder", he said, then blinked, "Hank?"  
  
"He went on a not-a-date with Shannon", said Ororo, blinking as Amber did the splits, prompting the teens to do the same, "...limber, isn't she?".  
  
"Shhhh, i don't want too much background noise on this", said Magneto as he filmed the teens dancing on a camcorder, "oh how much this will be worth in blackmail!!!"  
  
Sabertooth chuckled, patting Rabid on the head, while Jason kept a good deal away her...creepy tiger. Forge was also keeping a good distance...just in case Amber decided to get HIM to dance...he'd really rather not. Warren was absent, he had gone to check out some land for his aligator sanctuary...the others decided to let the milionaire spend his money however he liked....not that he would have listened to them anyway.  
  
"You know, i think we all had a growing experience from this", said Xavier, "i mean, sure, my home is now at an odd angle and is missing it's west wall, almost all the botanical life of the town is now dead, Forge has to fix his truck, and Logan has no beers, then there's the physcological damage inflicted on Piotr after Kitty's driving exersice...and our own issues from our trip..."  
  
Xavier paused.  
  
"What am i saying? This was a nightmare from Hell! And i'm glad it's over, glad i tell you. Bwmoahahahhahahahhaa!!!!"  
  
With that, he started to spin his chair in little circles, giggling manically.  
  
"That's nice, Charles", replied Magneto calmly as he continued to film the humiliation.  
  
END  
  
*****  
  
Well, someone had to be pushed over the edge by the end of this, Xavier seemed the most logical choice ;) Ahhh what a lovely ending, but do not fear, this is not the end of the series, there are still SOOOO many groups for me to torture. The Boys, The New Recruits, The Acolytes, The Morlocks, The Humans, The Brotherhood...and no doubt i can find more groups too, mwhaohahahaha!. Do review. Thanks for reading! 


End file.
